The door prizes include a rusty old grocery cart
THE NEWS TRIBUNE
We’re not sure what’s on the menu for next month’s City Club of Tacoma dinner – besides a big helping of irony.
A news release announcing plans for the May 7 event says a panel will address weighty issues, such as how to reduce and prevent chronic homelessness and what would happen if the city’s largest overnight shelter closed.
We’re tracking so far.
Then comes the location for the event: Nativity House. According to the release, the day shelter for the homeless will open its doors to “City Club’s usual wine social, buffet dinner and stimulating program at a site specific to the topic.”
Must have seemed like a clever idea at the time. But really, a wine social at a homeless shelter?
Since the club has thrown open the door of cluelessness, we’ll walk right through. It’s what we do.
Think of the possibilities. Blind brown-bag taste testing: Night Train vs. Thunderbird. Followed by a benefit auction for a weekend for two under the Interstate 705 overpass.
What a bummer Tollefson Plaza remains a black hole in downtown Tacoma. You’d think at least Scandinavian tourists or roving gangs of Nordic young toughs would gather there.
This week a great Dane thinker, Lars Genzoe, arrived to help fill the void. Let’s just say for a lot less than the 15K the city’s paying the urban-space guru, it could have our sure-fire ways to draw a crowd:
• Decorate with Ikea furniture.
• Free danish day.
• Move needle-exchange van there.
• Rename it Sen. Bob Oke Plaza.
• 104-foot tall steel-and-glass sculpture shaped like Harold Tollefson’s gavel.
• Norwegian car dealership: Titus-Will Fjord.
Birds and butts redux: Last week we reported feathers flying at the Bonney Lake City Council meeting. One silver-tongued pol accused another of having “birds flying out of his butt.”
Hey, at least it wasn’t monkeys.
Anyway, Bryan Flint, executive director of Tahoma Audubon, has since come out with an official statement, posted on the blog of his organization’s Web site,
www.tahomaaudubon.org.
“Because Pierce County towns and rural areas have lost so much habitat to sprawling development we believe that City Council members should take personal responsibility. Therefore we demand the creation of habitat for wintering birds where the sun don’t shine.”
Flint has a point. So many trees have been knocked down in Bonney Lake, it’s hard to find a bird that isn’t pressed into a McNugget.
Calling Dr. Heimlich! Rep. Dawn Morrell, D-Puyallup, better watch her step this fall. Her District 25 GOP opponent, also from Meekerville, is a self-described political activist.
And while we’ve never heard of the young man, a little imagination could make his mailers and yard signs some of the best of the election season:
• Vote for Caleb Heimlich and breathe easy again!
• Heimlich for Rep! He’s got the smooth maneuvers!
• Don’t choke on a hunk of half-chewed bagel, vote Heimlich!
Not to be outplayed, the incumbent could also use a creative touch:
• Re-elect Morrell! She won’t squeeze you till you spew!
Calvin Goings, the Pierce County councilman and candidate for executive, used April 15 – the deadline for federal income taxes – to announce that he’ll be a good steward of county taxes.
Does that mean when the county property tax deadline arrives Wednesday, Goings will pledge more efficient use of federal tax dollars?
Finally, what a relief to find out this week that our thrifty state DOT has insured half of the new Narrows bridge in case of collapse.
Our vote is to rebuild the Tacoma half. Give westbound travelers an Evel Knievel shot at making it across.
For Gig Harborites headed east that first morning, one word applies:
Kersplash.
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