Ahhhh, Le Schnoz is back after a rare and restful vacation. The always-generous Boss allowed a whole week off after several years of uninterrupted you-know-what to the grindstone.
She tried to squeeze us for a Sunday travel feature, but on our gas budget the farthest we got was the Star Lite swap meet on South Tacoma Way.
Gotta look into signing Callaghan and Merryman’s agent.
Anyhow, here’s an overview of what we did on summer break:
• Made dent in reading list: Dr. Seuss’ “The Nose Book,” by Al Perkins; “Cleopatra’s Nose: 39 Varieties of Desire,” by Judith Thurman; “Cyrano de Bergerac,” by Edmond Rostand.
• Rented DVDs: “Blow,” starring Johnny Depp; “Scent of a Woman,” with Al Pacino (hoo-ahh!); “Yentl,” with Babs Streisand (ooh la la!).
• Filled up the iPod playlist: Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “That Smell,” “Ultimate (Barry) Manilow.”
• Skipped the museums. Their best-ever exhibit, “The Big Sneeze,” a giant fleshy honker that wheezes and spews goo into a tub underneath, left TAM almost eight years ago.
Mostly, we just laid around and watched the little nostrils blow bubbles in the Wright Park wading pool.
Ran out of zinc oxide, so this column might be a-peeling for a change.
As Tacoma budget cutters sharpen their shears, one casualty could be those fancyboy “wayfinding signs.” Tourism gurus want them so that visitors don’t fall into the Foss Waterway while looking for Point Defiance.
Patricia Lecy-Davis, head cheese of the Downtown Merchants Group, told City Council members last week that they could erect about 70 signs for up to $2.5 million.
She acknowledged this was the “Cadillac” version. Councilman Spiro Manthou replied: “Can we come in with a Volkswagen next time?”
Sure thing, Spi-Man. If you don’t mind that the signs are always broken down and in the shop.
Sexpresso update: The uproar over nearly nude baristas has grown so tired, it’s getting hard to muster a yawn every time a new bunch of double-tall skinnies strips down to the skivvies.
A Starbucks closes in Orting. A naughty latte stand opens in Gorst. The scenery changes, but the coffee keeps flowing. Que sera sera.
No reason to get offended, as long as the nice old fella who pours free joe at the freeway rest stop keeps his shirt and trousers on.
Wake us when something shocking happens. Like, Dave Viafore opening one of these joints in Fircrest.
We did lift an eyelid this week after hearing that a new espresso stand called Pasties had its grand opening in Belfair. With a peekaboo view from Highway 3, between four teasingly spaced fence panels.
The business quickly shuttered under pressure from government honchos, but its owners have pledged to reopen with toned-down attire.
All this in the hometown of Norm Dicks. A place so innocent, residents figured an “r” had fallen off the “Pasties” sign between the “t” and the “i.” Where the dirtiest thing you hear of is septic tank leaks into Hood Canal.
The town apparently lacks a sense of humor, to say nothing of irony.
A group formed to fight the new java shed originally called itself Belfair Opposes Offensive Baristas. Which offered the best acronym this side of the South Lake Union Trolley.
Alas, a source tells us some folks who don’t like Pasties also blushed at the group name. So now they’re called Independent Citizens Against Raunchy Enterprise, or I CARE.
We like this better: Belfair Opposes Really Irresponsible Naughty Girls.
What a relief a worse fate didn’t befall Sunday’s United Airlines flight from Sea-Tac Airport to San Francisco.
The Boeing 737 returned to Sea-Tac after a loose bolt caused all the seats in Row 3 to slide back into Row 4.
Just curious: What fee did United charge Row 3 for the extra legroom?
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