I never wanted to be a poster child for anything. But now I’m becoming one for the sake of my own family and thousands of others in Washington who do not enjoy equal protection under the law.

This is what the debate over Referendum 71 is about – treating all of our citizens fairly, regardless of their sexual orientation.

I do not go about my daily life wearing a great big button that says “I’m gay.” It is not relevant to much of my work or my volunteer activities in Tacoma and Pierce County.

In my job as a public health official, it is my performance that matters. In civic and nonprofit work, it is my willingness to serve the community. In my friendships, it is who I am and how I treat others.

In the part of my life most important to me, what matters is the loving, 20-year relationship I’ve had with my domestic partner, Laura, and our commitment to being good parents to our 9-year-old biological son.

Call me a soccer mom. I drive my son to soccer practice and games. T-ball, too. Rain or shine, I cheer on the sidelines. I helped him get his nutcracker collection ready for exhibition at the Puyallup Fair. Laura and I agreeably serve as enablers for his obsession with Legos. He’s a great kid.

Laura and I pay our taxes, vote and meet all our responsibilities as citizens. Yet legally, we are not treated the same as others. We – and many others like us – remain second-class citizens in some important legal respects.

Washington’s lawmakers have done much to improve the rights of gay domestic partners, but there are still big holes in the legal safety net for our families.

For example, the domestic partners of gay police and firefighters killed in the line of duty are not entitled to death benefits. Domestic partners of teachers and other public employees aren’t entitled to pension survivor benefits the way spouses in legal marriages are.

Legislators and the governor this year approved a law that fills those gaps. It would also help heterosexual citizens over 62 by allowing them to form domestic partnerships. I know this protection is important, because my mother-in-law and her partner Harold lived for 20 years as a couple, devoted to each other. But they could not marry for fear of losing military and Social Security benefits they needed to get by.

Laura and I each have pensions we’ve earned over the years like everyone else. Each of us wants the other to have survivor benefits to protect our family, just as traditionally married parents do. Likewise, it’s important for us to be able to use sick leave to take care of each other in case the cancer that struck Laura a decade ago returns or my childhood diabetes incapacitates me. The latest domestic-partner legislation ensures that.

The new law recognizes that just as traditional legal marriages often don’t last, domestic partnerships may crumble. The protections and obligations of family law should apply to couples in domestic partnerships as well. These particularly protect children.

The groups that put Referendum 71 on the ballot want to repeal this year’s domestic-partner legislation. We haven’t seen their advertising yet, but we expect them to suggest that education in public schools might be affected or that approval would legalize gay marriage. Neither of these things is true.

The ballot title for Referendum 71 is simple, clear and means what it says: “This bill would expand the rights, responsibilities and obligations accorded same-sex and senior domestic partners to be equivalent to those of married spouses, except that a domestic partnership is not a marriage.”

Many of Washington’s largest businesses and major labor and religious groups support the new law. They recognize it is about fairness.

Laura and I are among 12,000 domestic partners registered in Washington. We are now a “visible” gay couple, but there are thousands more in our communities who live quietly in committed relationships and do not seek attention. Many of them raise children. They, and their children, need protection.

We are optimistic. We believe the majority of Washington voters, whether or not they favor gay marriage, believe that all couples and families should be treated with fairness and respect. It’s simply the right thing to do. That means voting to approve Referendum 71.

Laurie Jinkins of Tacoma is deputy director of the Tacoma-Pierce County Health Department and chair of the board of trustees for Tacoma Community College. For more information on Referendum 71, go to www.approve71.com.