Forget the prostitution and harassment; we’ll remember Hecht for the soup
THE NEWS TRIBUNE
The guilty verdict for Pierce County judge Michael Hecht was issued Wednesday with the speed and finality of an infamous character from the “Seinfeld” sitcom.
“No soup for you!”
But Hecht’s harassment and patronizing-a-prostitute trial may be remembered most for its goofy obsession with his trips to a dirty-movie theater vending machine for a steamy snack.
There hasn’t been so much foofaraw over a retired downtown food product since Tacoma bought the rights to the sauces at Bimbo’s Restaurant.
The souped-up sideshow may help the judge land his next gig, once somebody figures out how to stop his Superior Court paychecks. Some ideas:
• Spokesman for Campbell’s. (“The lengths some men will go to for a good bowl of soup!”)
• Keynote speaker at legal seminars. (“Forget Twinkies; try the ‘chicken soup defense!’”)
• Guest host on new Food Network adults-only series. (Tonight’s show: Soups – you can’t spell brothel without broth.)
• Author of inspirational sayings, including the one he offered in court. (“I cannot change your life, but I can change your moment.”)
His book of verse will be called: “Chicken Soup for the Disrobed and Disbarred Soul.”
Here at Tacoma’s First Amendment Fortress, we’ve taken a meal or two from vending machines, especially after Cafe Trib closed this year.
But the old Mecca Theater? Blech, Mr. Hecht. In a building filled with dark, mysterious, airless spaces, you really wanted to reach your hand into one to grab lunch?
His answer is yes, judging by a transcript of his Monday testimony:
Defense attorney Wayne Fricke: “Are you aware of the Mecca?”
Hecht: “Yes.”
Fricke: “You been inside the Mecca?”
Hecht: “Yes.”
Fricke: “Been inside for chicken soup?”
Hecht: “Yes.”
Fricke “How many times would you say you’ve gotten chicken soup there over the years?”
Hecht: “Hundreds of times.”
The man must have been impervious to head colds.
Then, on cross-examination by John Hillman, the assistant attorney general:
“Hillman: “Did you get to know (name deleted) from going into the Mecca for chicken soup?”
Hecht: “Yes. It was very good chicken soup. I got it out of a vending machine for a quarter.”
Hecht then described the soup, but our ace reporter’s recording didn’t pick it up.
Hillman: “And you prefer chicken soup from a porno theater rather than all the other restaurants.”
Fricke objects, and Judge James Cayce sustains the objection.
Here, we stop listening and start working on our five-word memo to Hecht: “Next time, order the salad.”
Seen Saturday outside Husky Stadium: U.S. Rep. Norm Dicks, within sniffing range of candidates stumping for office.
The former U-Dub player, not on the ballot again until 2010, pressed the flesh at the site of his former defensive exploits.
Sure, it seems Normy’s always running for re-election, but someone please tell him something he never heard in college: Take a seat on the bench.
In Sumner, flak over a yellow jacket: Speaking of elections, we had to giggle over what amounts to a campaign rhubarb in the self-proclaimed Rhubarb Pie Capital of the World.
Matt Richardson – a Sumner city councilman, mayoral candidate and former director of the Daffodil Festival – had the nerve to wear his yellow director’s windbreaker around town.
It prompted a letter from Festival President Karen Baskett, which was circulated by Richardson’s political foes: “As you are not currently associated with the Festival,” it says in part, “we must respectfully request you do not campaign in your Daffodil Festival attire.”
No word on whether he’s banned from dressing as a Daffodilian for Halloween.
Port of Tacoma Executive Director Tim Farrell is looking for work, so The Nose suggests a run for Pierce County Council.
For those not paying attention, there are two Tim Farrells in the public eye here. One (we’ll call him Farrell 1) is the soon-to-be former port kahuna. The other (Farrell 2) is on the County Council.
Here’s our dream scenario: Voters approve Proposed Charter Amendment 1, giving Farrell 2 the chance to seek Term No. 3 in 2012. Farrell 1 runs against him for Term No. 1.
Voters would be confused, but it would cut down on negative campaigning. (Those “Tim Farrell wants to raise your taxes” claims might backfire.)
And the ranked-choice ballot would be a keeper. First choice: Tim Farrell. Second choice: Tim Farrell. Third choice: Will Baker.
Got news for The Nose? Write TheNose@thenewstribune.com.
