Listen to your gut.
If you’re afraid or nervous about a person’s unwanted phone calls, text messages or gifts, tell someone and get help, said Karin White Tautfest, of YWCA Pierce County.
Such persistent contacts are “really a red flag for danger,” said Tautfest, director of shelter and advocacy services.
Stalking, she said, “isn’t like a little crush or infatuation.”
“This is an unhealthy and dangerous obsession of one person to try and have power and control over another person,” said Tautfest, who helps victims of domestic violence.
Jennifer Paulson, 30, who was shot and killed Friday outside a Tacoma elementary school, had obtained an anti-harassment order in September 2008 against Jed R. Waits.
Waits, 30, was booked into the Pierce County Jail on Feb. 19 after violating the order. He was released on Monday and killed Paulson on Friday, Tacoma police said.
“This case is a tragic reminder that stalking is an extremely dangerous thing that happens,” Tautfest said, adding Paulson “was doing everything that somebody could do.”
About 3.4 million adults are stalked each year in the United States, according to the National Center for Victims of Crime. Three out of four victims are stalked by someone they know.
Victims sometimes don’t realize what’s happening to them is stalking, Tautfest said. Or they’re afraid to report the behavior, fearing increased danger, including retaliation, to them or their loved ones, she said.
People being stalked need to develop a plan to stay safe, Tautfest said. They also need to keep text messages, e-mails, gifts and other evidence of stalking and seek legal intervention.
That evidence is helpful in obtaining a court-ordered anti-harassment or domestic violence protection order, she said.
Stalking can escalate into following victims, spying on them and showing up unexpectedly.
Stalking is a crime. Court orders put stalkers on notice they can be arrested if they go near their victims.
Stalkers sometimes quit after court orders are issued or get arrested and are put in jail for violating the orders, Tautfest said. About 60 percent of stalkers violate protection orders, the Journal of Forensic Sciences reported in 2006.
“Nothing is 100 percent fail-safe,” Tautfest said.
Steve Maynard: 253-597-8647 steve.maynard@thenewstribune.com
What to do if being stalked
• Trust your instincts.
• Tell someone and get help.
• Change your daily routine and switch vehicles to throw off the stalker.
• Change your phone number and e-mail address.
• Disable the global positioning system on your cell phone.
• Get a security escort to and from a work parking lot.
• Get a protection order.
Where to get help
• Call 911.
• Domestic violence hot line, YWCA Pierce County, 253-383-2593.
• Domestic violence help line, Crystal Judson Family Justice Center, 253-798-4166.
• State domestic violence hot line, 1-800-562-6025. The state hot line also has contacts for agencies that treat people with controlling or abusive behaviors.
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