Dear Rep. Dicks, why can’t we get our own F-15 fighter wing?
THE NEWS TRIBUNE
When Barack Obama was elected el jefe supremo, various sages predicted boom times ahead. An economic boom. A boom in the sale of guns before Obama outlawed them. A baby boom among all those folks who brimmed with optimism and alcohol on election night ’08.
The Nose-tradamus boldly prophesied a boom in sales of Steve Miller Band CDs. We predicted the president would adopt a new national anthem, “Keep on Barack-in’ Me, Baby,” which we’d all blast on our boom boxes day and night.
Alas, many of these booms have turned out busts. Instead we had to settle for a pair of sonic booms this week when Obama visited Seattle for the first time as president, and some fighter jets showed up to protect his airspace.
Within minutes the buzzword “Obooma” had been coined, and within hours a T-shirt company was cranking out merchandise with the slogan: “I felt it. Obooma! Seattle ’10.”
Seems overly dramatic, until you remember this is the same sissy city that barely survived a snowstorm two winters ago.
Only in America will a guy gladly pay good money for a souvenir clothing item that commemorates an event he will either forget within a week or else he’d like to. (Yes, we’re talking about you, owner of the Frankie Goes to Hollywood concert T-shirt, Brian Bosworth Seahawks jersey or “Clint Didier for U.S. Senate” ballcap.)
Some people blame Obama for making them wet their pants just before 1:50 p.m. Tuesday. We saved our scorn for a different elected poobah, who appeared on the primary ballot that same day.
Memo to U.S. Rep. Norm Dicks: You fancy yourself the defense spender in chief. So how come you can’t get the Puget Sound our own F-15 fighter wing?
The embarrassment factor is pretty high when Washington must call for military aid from the People’s Republic of Oregon. And it took a full 10 minutes for their jets to scramble north, even while flying faster than the speed of sound. Did they stop for gas at Chehalis and wait for the self-serve attendant to fill their tanks?
Dalco v. Delco: We put on our safari suit Thursday morning and did some field research at Point Defiance Park to verify a tip from a couple of readers. Sure enough, there was a sign along Five-Mile Drive that identifies “Delco Viewpoint.”
Metro Parks Tacoma spokeswoman Nancy Johnson called it a misprint and said the sign was taken down Thursday after The Nosy One pointed it out. She said a replacement sign in a few weeks will say “Dalco,” the proper name of the waterway between Point D and the south end of Vashon Island.
Come to think of it, however, commercial sponsorships could be a thrifty way to keep local parks open. The manufacturer of ACDelco auto parts would be a nifty place to start.
Other corporatized landmarks at Point Defiance could include:
• Owens Corning Fiberglass Beach.
• Van Camp 6 (because loggers love beans).
• Ford Nisqually.
When fruit goes bad: AP reported that a man in a banana costume was arrested in Port Angeles this week for allegedly exposing himself. That much is true. The next part is not.
The suspect was approached by an undercover vice cop, who asked: “Is that a banana costume or are you just glad to see me?”
Reports did not say whether the man was wearing a sticker.
Heaven sent? Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck is such a fan favorite, his eventual successor will have to walk on water.
Enter new guy Charlie Whitehurst. We don’t care if he can throw the ball; we’re just impressed by how he looks to have been special ordered by central casting for a “Jesus of Nazareth” production.
Our prediction: He makes the team as the No. 2 QB. Or as they might say in Bible times: Verily, I say unto you, he, too, shall pass.
Just don’t call him a savior, no matter how desperately the team needs one.
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