Truth is, a staycation really isn't a vacation at all

We’re getting ready to head down the coast for a few days of rest and relaxation – if a vacation with two small boys can be called relaxing. We go to an old motel with a stretch of beach so nice that the owners haven’t had to bother updating the furniture or putting chocolates on the pillows.

My husband says it has that “beach house” smell, while I’m pretty sure it’s Febreeze over dog. It’s the kind of place where there isn’t much to do except play in the sand and hang out. The owners wear socks with Birkenstocks and come out and roast s’mores with you. It’s our kind of place.

As a one-income family, even a modest vacation is a definite splurge. However, we’ve determined that even the briefest getaway beats the family staycation.

If you’re somehow not familiar with the term, a staycation is a vacation you take at home. The idea is that you save money on airfare and hotels and instead enjoy playing tourist in your own backyard. We’ve done several such faux getaways, and I can summarize my best staycation advice in three words: Just go somewhere.

Why would an admitted cheapie reject the staycation? To begin with, despite the numerous newspaper and magazine pieces published on the subject, no one else will understand the idea. My husband’s co-workers, for example, seemed to think he was merely playing hooky and called him with various emergencies the whole week of our last at-home sojourn.

Still, we got off easy. Friends I know have found their staycations interrupted by everything from unpaid child-minding for half the neighborhood to a little light plumbing work over at the in-laws. If you’re in Maui or Disneyland, this does not happen.

The second major problem with the staycation is that you are in your house. If you’re cutting out vacations to beef up the family coffers, there is a good chance that your house, like ours, does not feel like a relaxing spa retreat. As you sit on your couch you will find yourself noticing the hole some kid made in your wall with his light saber or the slightly off smell coming from behind your refrigerator.

Unless you have the good sense to grab some things and jump in the car, you will find yourself dealing with these problems. Even worse, you may find yourself so well-rested that you start to think about tackling some minor home improvement.

If there is a quicker way to ruin an afternoon than heading to a big-box home improvement store, I don’t know what it is. No hotel offers a special add-on package that involves trying to explain what a wax toilet bowl ring is to some bored teenager who doesn’t have a clue where you might find one.

Finally, the whole idea that a staycation is a money saver is a bit of a lie. The tourist traps near you are going to be just as expensive as the tourist traps somewhere else.

The difference is when your tour guide or waitress brightly chirps, “So, where is everyone from?” you’ll get to enjoy a lot of eye-rolling as she clearly thinks you should have known better.

Now, I understand that for many folks, a vacation of any kind, or even time off work, is out of the question. If you’re on the fence, though, let me suggest you pinch your pennies everywhere else. Clip those coupons, shop at the thrift store, put some old junk on eBay and throw everything you save in a jar. By the summer you should have at least enough to get a campsite at Rainier.

It may not be exotic, but it’s still beautiful, and with a little planning, you should be able to get yourself out of cell range.

Most importantly, you won’t be at home. And that, my friends, is priceless.

Maegen Blue lives in Puyallup. She is one of six reader columnists whose work appears in this space. Reach her through her blog, soundsfunmom.com, where she writes about events and activities for families in the South Puget Sound.