College football preview: The best and the worst

A Best and Worst primer for the 2011 college football season, which begins this afternoon at 5 with a couple of televised games (UNLV at Wisconsin, Memphis at Mississippi State) that figure to find the home teams rolling up the score before halftime.

Best Reason to Watch UNLV at Wisconsin, and Memphis at Mississippi State: After six months of following stories about scandals, sanctions, suspensions, improper benefits, bogus scouting services, cat-fighting coaches and violent bar brawls, we’ve finally got a kickoff. Or as Georgia Tech’s longtime football broadcaster, the late Al Ciraldo, used to bellow: “Toe meets leather!”

Worst Thing About The Quaint Expression “Toe Meets Leather”: It reminds me of Rex Ryan.

Best Team On Paper: Oklahoma. Thanks to a quick-strike offense built around quarterback Landry Jones – the Andrew Luck of the Great Plains – and wide receiver Ryan Broyles (whose 131 catches led the nation last year), the Sooners, ranked No. 1 in both major polls, are poised to win their first national championship since 2000.

Worst Aspect of Owning a No. 1 Ranking in a Preseason Poll: Since 1945, only two teams have managed to go wire-to-wire in The Associated Press poll. Last to do it was Florida State in 1999. The sixth-ranked Seminoles, by the way, will take on Oklahoma in Tallahassee, Fla., on Sept. 17.

Best Early Season Game: Oklahoma-Florida State trumps the much anticipated matchup between No. 3 Oregon and No. 4 LSU on Saturday because neutral fans can watch it without wanting to throw a shoe at the TV screen.

Best Late Season Game: Oklahoma at Oklahoma State, Dec. 3. Two of college football’s best receivers (Broyles and the Cowboys’ Justin Blackmon) will be showcased during the last regular-season game of the 10-team, soon-to-be-nine-team, house-of-cards configuration known as the Big 12 Conference.

Best Game Nobody’s Talking About Yet: Notre Dame at Stanford, Nov. 26. If Andrew Luck and Co. survive the grueling test at Oregon on Nov. 12, the Cardinal could be undefeated.

Meanwhile, coach Brian Kelly has toughened up the defense in South Bend, and with the help of an uncharacteristically soft schedule – before it travels to the West Coast, Notre Dame’s only opponents ranked in the preseason Top 25 will have been No. 17 Michigan State and No. 25 USC – the Fighting Irish could be undefeated as well. Luck against the Irish. Has a ring to it, no?

Worst Game Ever: Ohio State at Miami, Sept. 17. The two NCAA programs most tarnished by corruption this offseason square off in the Pro(bation) Bowl. The folks at ESPN are so distraught about this untimely matchup, they moved the kickoff to prime time.

Best New Rule: Outlawing wedge blocks on kickoffs. It’ll help prevent debilitating injuries while increasing the likelihood of a long return – the most exciting play in football.

Worst New Rule: Enforcing a vaguely defined taunting foul from the point of the infraction. A touchdown could be erased this season because a player makes some animated gesture found to be in violation of the no-taunting policy – holding the ball above the head as he crosses the goal line, for instance – and unprecedented controversy will ensue. Count on it.

Best Idea By A Conference: The Pac-12’s decision to play the conference championship at the home of the most qualified team. (That distinction will be determined by a tiebreaker system, beginning with most victories in league games.) A neutral-site championship works in theory, but the 20,000 empty seats would have been an embarrassment for a conference building a reputation for progressive marketing.

Worst Idea By A Conference: The Big Ten’s decision to designate one six-team division as the “Legends Division,” and the other six-team division as the “Leaders Division.” Any hunches on who the first coach will be to mistake his team’s affiliation? I’d put my money on Illinois’ Ron Zook, who once said: “We’ve got (a) long way to go, but we’re close.”

Worst Parting Gift: After Big East-bound TCU announced it was leaving the Mountain West in 2012, conference officials relocated the Horned Frogs’ Nov. 12 contest against Boise State from Fort Worth to the Blue Turf. Thanks for the memories, Frogs. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Best Running Back: Oregon’s LaMichael James. The Ducks’ little big man was suspended for the opener last season and still led nation with 1,731 rushing yards. At 5-foot-9 and 195 pounds, James might not be the NFL prospect that South Carolina sophomore Marcus Lattimore is, but if the junior fares well against LSU in the opener and cranks out 300 yards against Missouri State in Week 3, his Heisman campaign will be off and running.

Best Freshman: Jadeveon Clowney, South Carolina defensive end. As a high-school senior last season, the 6-6, 254-pound Clowney had 29 solo sacks and scored five defensive touchdowns. Those are high-school stats, true, but five defensive touchdowns by a kid whose primary job is to pressure the quarterback? Wow.

Best Obscure Player You’ll Know All About 10 Days From Now: Hawaii senior quarterback Bryant Moniz, who averaged 360 passing yards a game last season while throwing for 39 touchdowns. Huskies fans will have a chance to see “Mighty Mo” on Sept. 10.

Best Name: Gods-Power Offor, a freshman defensive end at Wake Forest. Offor wins despite a strong challenge from Navy sophomore safety Wave Ryder.

Best Nickname: Florida International return specialist T.Y. “Goodbye” Hilton, whose cool moniker – it refers to his ability to race past tacklers – has spared this Hilton the dreaded nickname of “Paris.”

Best Shot To Win The Heisman Trophy: Andrew Luck. Last season’s runner-up already is a household name, and his candidacy should have some necessary momentum if Stanford qualifies for the inaugural Pac-12 championship game.

Best Bet For BCS Title Game Matchup: Alabama vs. Florida State. The past five national champions have come out of the SEC; the Crimson Tide owns the depth and the balance to make it six. As for the Seminoles? They could suffer a Week 3 defeat to Oklahoma and still have enough time to take a back-road path toward the top of the BCS standings because the most imposing opponent on their schedule – Virginia Tech, in the ACC championship game – is not yet on their schedule.

Virginia Tech, which loaded its September schedule with four Football Championship Series opponents, could finish the regular season undefeated. If Florida State beats the Hokies and wraps up 12-1, a shot at Alabama could await.

Closer to home, Oregon and Stanford are legitimate aspirants for the BCS title game, but I get the sense the Cardinal and Ducks will cancel each other out should they face each other twice.

The national champion? I say it’s Florida State, which beats ’Bama, 23-20, after an apparent Trent Richardson touchdown in the last minute is wiped off the scoreboard by an official who throws a flag – you know where this is going – because of a perceived taunting incident at the goal line.

Worst Bet You Can Ever Make: Anything based on one of my prognostications. When it comes to those things, I’ve got a long way to go. But I’m close.

john.mcgrath@thenewsribune.com