Alan Steinman was in a long-term relationship when he retired from the Coast Guard in 1997, but he couldn’t introduce his partner at his going-away party.
His partner remained in the military, and identifying him as gay would’ve jeopardized his career.
Steinman, a former rear admiral living in Olympia, on Tuesday night got to give his partner of 15 years a long-awaited introduction when he asked Dallas Powers to stand up at a party marking the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” at Joint Base Lewis-McChord. Powers still serves in the base’s 446th Reserve Air Wing.
“It’s been a long time coming, but we’ve finally made it,” Steinman said as he celebrated the end of the 18-year-old policy that allowed gay men and lesbians to serve in the military as long as they didn’t disclose their sexual orientation.
Their party at McChord Air Field put an exclamation point on “Repeal Day” for gay service members and their loved ones at the base. It signaled the end of a policy that led the military to discharge more than 13,000 people who wanted to serve since 1993.
About 70 people attended the celebration, exuding smiles and sharing hugs as they said goodbye to a policy that they said forced them to lead double lives.
“Finally! Yes! It’s about time,” exclaimed Debbie Mock Vaughn, 50, as she embraced a woman with whom she’d served in the Navy 30 years ago.
“It’s going to make such a difference for the younger generation,” she said. “They’re not going to be hunted like we were.”
The retired and active-duty service members shared a night they won’t forget, but the day passed smoothly for the Pentagon. The military has worked over the past few months to make sure the policy would expire quietly.
Officers at Lewis-McChord led briefings in the spring and summer to prepare service members for the change. They participated in scenario-based exercises in which soldiers in small groups would act out possible conflicts, such as overhearing a colleague making an insulting joke about a gay service member.
Defense Secretary Leon Panetta said at a news conference Tuesday that more than 97 percent of service members attended one of those briefings.
“I am committed to removing all of the barriers that would prevent Americans from serving their country and from rising to the highest level of responsibility that their talents and capabilities warrant,” Panetta said during a Pentagon news conference. “These are men and women who put their lives on the line in the defense of this country, and that’s what should matter the most.”
The policy was repealed in fits and starts over the past decade.
Lawmakers were reluctant to endorse the change, and the military wanted to move slowly.
In 2003, Steinman, the former rear admiral, became the highest-ranking retired officer to come out as gay. He began pushing for gay service members’ rights. Two generals joined him in taking their stand.
Meanwhile, discharges continued even as gay service members fought in Afghanistan and Iraq.
“Today means I can be who I am,” said Sgt. Pablo Monroy, 23, of the Washington National Guard. The Tacoma soldier served on two deployments of greater than seven months while in the Navy for the past four years.
“I’m going to go back to drill and do the best I can,” he said. “I’ve got one less thing to worry about.”
Steinman thanked other advocates who fought the policy, such as Maj. Margaret Witt of Lewis-McChord’s 446th Reserve Air Wing. Witt won a seven-year fight against the policy in September when a federal court in Tacoma ordered the Air Force to reinstate her.
Powers, 44, serves in the same wing and overheard talk about Witt while her case progressed. He was careful to not reveal his own relationship even as he encouraged his fellow airmen to withhold judgment.
“I said what I could, when I could,” he said.
Repealing the policy means that gay and lesbian service members won’t face professional repercussions if their colleagues learn about their sexual orientation.
Gay service members in committed relationships won’t get all of the benefits that are available to married, opposite-sex service members. For example, a gay service member won’t be able to live in military housing with his partner unless the couple has a child.
That disparity is one reason gay service members are pushing for the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act. The 1996 law bars the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriage, and it’s one of the barriers blocking gay and lesbian service members from obtaining all of the benefits available to their heterosexual colleagues.
Some of the service members and military retirees who attended the celebration at McChord said they thought those changes would come in time, too. For now, they’re savoring the moment.
“It’s the end of the two-person rule,” said retired Coast Guard Lt. Cmdr. Judy Parsell of Sequim.
She served in the Coast Guard 21 years and retired when she knew that staying in the military would compel her to leave her partner, Coast Guard Lt. Cmdr. Diana Wickam.
Wickam retired in 2009, and the couple stepped up their advocacy to repeal “don’t ask, don’t tell.”
“I’m proud of my country for taking on this very difficult issue,” Parselle said.
Adam Ashton: 253-597-8646
adam.ashton@thenewstribune.com
JOIN THE DISCUSSION | Register here
We welcome comments. Please keep them civil, short and to the point. ALL CAPS, spam, obscene, profane, abusive and off topic comments will be deleted. Repeat offenders will be blocked. Thanks for taking part — and abiding by these simple rules. A thorough explanation of rules of conduct can be found in our Terms of Service. If you have any questions, including why your comment may not be showing immediately after you submit it, be sure to visit the commenting FAQ.