His campaign pledge: A chicken in every pot, a latte in every fist

You’d have to be awfully naive to swallow the notion that anyone from Washington state could ever be elected U.S. president. Not even Dale Washam, with his White House-ready head of hair.

Making the switch from Pacific Standard to Eastern Standard time plays havoc with our biorhythms. (Just ask the Sea- hawks.) Also, most Americans think we live in an unincorporated territory, like Guam.

Yet in the last week, the Interwebs has started buzzing that Seattle’s Howard Schultz, already our nation’s caffeinator in chief, could emerge as a leading presidential candidate for the American Elects movement. The grass-roots group is trying to put a nonpartisan candidate on the ballot in all 50 states.

Some would call it a tall order for the Starbucks CEO.

We’d go further. Make it a grande, or a venti. Maybe a trenta.

It’s not even a slam dunk that the former Sonics owner would carry his own state. But he might receive a hero’s welcome at campaign stops in Oklahoma City.

Maybe we’re wrong. Maybe there are a few surprises left in that bottomless bag of magic coffee beans.

L.A. Times writer Doyle McManus cites Schultzy as the kind of independent business figure who could play well in Peoria on the presidential ticket.

Lord knows his overroasted beverages have a strangely class-free vibe. Even some Occupy Wall Street protesters have been spotted occupying the line at their local Charbucks.

And if the head cheese of Godfather’s Pizza can vault to the front of the candidate herd, why not Howie? When was the last time you saw a Godfather’s, let alone ate there?

Mr. Schultz Goes to Washington From the Other Washington: It doesn’t make a snappy movie title, but it does follow a certain logic.

In the land of the $600 Pentagon toilet seat, the creator of the $4 cuppa joe would fit right in.

Howie’s first act as president: Expand the NASA budget. Send a probe to the farthest ends of the galaxy, in search of a place that doesn’t have a Starbucks.

Yet.

Now for some noncorporate coffee: What a thrill to see that CNBC used a Tacoma business in its documentary “The Coffee Addiction,” which aired again Sunday.

There it was, Metronome Coffee, at North Union and Sixth avenues, and barista Joshua Boyt on display as the epitome of hip, urban coffee culture.

Ready for their closeup, Tacomans might’ve leaned in to hear reporter Scott Wapner give them their due. Instead, he informed the nation that Metronome was “very near Seattle.”

Really? Sort of how Oakland is very near San Francisco? Or Canada is very near the United States? This must be what the business cable network considers a rounding error.

It gets worse. The same report had an extensive segment on Dillanos coffee roastmaster Phil Beattie and his relationship with a Peruvian coffee farmer.

At first the cable reporter said the company was “very near Seattle.” Later it was labeled as being in Sumner, Wash.

So the Rhubarb Pie Capital of the World gets named, but America’s Most Wired City gets rolled into Seattle?

Guess that’s what we should expect from the cable channel henceforth known as the one very near MSNBC.

But did he do an end zone dance? Dan Roach delivered his baby girl at home. The Pierce County councilman from Bonney Lake stepped in when the midwives didn’t show. Luckily, they left instructions.

“He turned around, went to wash his hands, came back and just caught it like a football,” said Roach’s mom, state Sen. Pam Roach. “Melanie (Dan’s wife) said, ‘What is it?’ because it was going to be a surprise.”

“It” turned out to be Lily Josephine – the second granddaughter Pam added to her clan in a span of three days in October, and the third this year.

“Now I’m up with Mitt Romney again,” said the Auburn Republican, whom the Nose has tweaked for her crush on the dreamy presidential hopeful.

Apparently, she and Romney are now tied at 16 grandfootballs each.

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