As an elementary school counselor and sworn protector of children, the most heartbreaking part of my job is when I listen to boys and girls weep as they make their first report of abuse, especially any exploitation of a sexual nature.

Even here, in shiny Gig Harbor, it happens more often than I would have predicted.

Still, I suppose I should not be surprised; after all, the organization Darkness to Light presents show-stopping statistics: One in four girls will be sexually abused before she turns 18. There are 39 million survivors of sexual abuse in America alone. Ninety percent of cases involve someone the child knows, loves or trusts. And one in five victims is younger than 8.

Thank goodness there are simple things schools — and parents — can do to help protect boys and girls. For that reason, last spring I once again led a simple, age-appropriate safety lesson in every class at Artondale Elementary.

It goes something like this (Source: Talking About Touching):

After I introduce the talk by asking youngsters what people wear to the beach, students share some version of “a bathing suit.” Next, I further explain that boys usually wear “ ... swim trunks or shorts,” and that sometimes girls “ ... wear a two-piece or bikini.”

I add: “The areas of your body, front and back, which are covered by your swimsuit — shorts for boys and a two-piece for girls — are personal and private. No one should be touching you there, or looking at you there, unless they are keeping you clean or healthy: like a doctor checking you over, or a mom changing a baby’s diaper.”

I then share, “And nobody should be asking to have you look at their private parts,” before I tell kids about how to say “No” in a strong voice, run away, and tell a trusted adult if anyone is making bad choices about private areas.

After that, I read aloud most of the book “The Right Touch” by Sandy Kleven. We discuss how the young protagonist in the story does the best thing when she’s faced with an unsafe situation: she pays attention to a warning feeling in her heart before she runs away to tell her mom.

Later in the lesson, children learn that touching problems are never the child’s fault, and that, even if an adult tries to tell the child to keep it a secret, the boy or girl should continue to tell trusted adults (like parents and school staff members) until someone helps.

Finally, using information provided by stellar Harbor Heights counselor Joan Storkman, I lead a little quiz where boys and girls are asked to tell whether they think real-life situations are “red light” (not OK) or “green light” (good) touches.

Some examples include: Your mom changes your little brother’s diaper (green light; she’s keeping him clean/healthy); an older child wants to play touching games with private parts (red light); or your teammate gives you a hug after you score a goal (green light).

Other elementary school counselors and I desperately wish we lived in a world where there was no need to write articles like this, or teach lessons of this type. But, ultimately, a need to keep precious children safe requires such measures.

And if something terrible has already happened? Then we can do the next best things. We can make excellent decisions such as getting medical support for our sons and daughters, seeking private counseling for our family, and contacting authorities so the alleged abuser has no chance to continue the behavior ever again.

Jon Johansen is an elementary school counselor who has spent many years investing in boys and girls. His greatest sources of earthly joy are his wife and children. He can be reached by email at jjfoxisland@centurytel.net.