TPS is common shorthand for Tacoma Public Schools, but on one campus it also sums up a situation that’s either No. 1 or No. 2 on the crisis list: Toilet Paper Shortage.
Answering nature’s call this year at Foss High has turned into a feat worthy of an all-state track athlete.
As with the Olympics, the drama began with the lighting of a flame.
Way back in January, several teens ignited fireworks, flushed them and blew up a urinal.
More recently, a Foss mom reports, the school’s been on partial lavatory lockdown. She said a few johns used by herds of students between classes were closed, forcing them to find relief in privies near the cafeteria and in two other out-of-the-way pit stops.
Kids not swift enough to make a cross-campus knock-kneed hop-step during passing time must secure a coveted hall pass. Then they get the third degree from every authority figure they see.
The mom complained to the superintendent, the health department, the state board of education and this here daily fishwrap.
Here’s the explanation we got from TPS spokeswoman Stacey Flores:
Authorities had to close one throne room so it could be scoured after someone smeared it with … well, you can guess. Meantime, some Foss Falcons were trying to fly under the radar by using a different restroom as a place to hide out and skip class. (Working on term papers, no doubt.)
Our anony-mom toilet tipster said students were still holding their water as of Wednesday.
Flores says staffers will open the locked bathroom for students who are truly in need. She promises both Foss biffies will soon reopen for business.
Glad to hear it. We were starting to think Superintendent Art Jarvis had cooked up a new plan to close Foss, one room at a time.
Speaking of missing TPS paperwork: What’s at the top of our Christmas wish list?
How ’bout a final copy of the teachers’ contract – the document that officially establishes whatever hocus pocus went down in secret meetings between the school district and the teachers union.
In September. Before the eight-day teachers strike ended.
We sniffed for a copy of this elusive public record for the last 21/2 months. They told us the document – or scribbled-on cocktail napkin, or whatever – was sent to a consultant for tidying, typing, printing and binding.
Also, the district said there was some back and forth with the union making sure both sides really agreed on what had been agreed upon. Imagine that.
Now for the happy ending: Santa came early and brought us a draft copy Thursday!
Whew. We’d started to worry the contract-scrubbing elves had gone on strike.
Man of mystery initials: Doesn’t seem like T.C. Broadnax is off on the right foot when it comes to openness.
T.C., you see, is one of three finalists for Tacoma city manager. Our City Hall muckraker gave him three chances in an interview to share what his initials stand for.
T.C. wouldn’t bite, other than to play the wise guy.
Total Control, he said. Or Too Cool. He stopped just short of calling himself Top Cat.
We have ways to find your name, our muckraker told him.
And we did. Though the “C” remains a riddle for now, the “T” is short for a name you won’t see in any popular baby-name books.
T.C. Broadnax is (drumroll, please) … Teaser.
In more ways than one.
Ramthastic news: The big story out of O-Town Thursday was the total victory in state Supreme Court for JZ Knight.
The New Age guru, known for channeling a 35,000-year-old warrior named Ramtha, sought to block a housing development in Yelm. It’s a complicated case but leaves little doubt that Knight won big.
Sources say she hasn’t been this happy for 30,000 years.
Ramtha redux: The court had to decide whether JZ Knight held something called “senior water rights.”
Well, duh.
Ramtha space filler: One of earth’s biggest rap music stars performs at the T-Dome tonight. He might get served with legal papers.
A certain Yelm resident is riding a hot streak, and she’s tired of sharing her name.
So be alert, Mr. Jay-Z.
Got news for The Nose? Write to TheNose@thenewstribune.com.
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