And now, for the attention-span challenged, the year just finished in 660 words:
Gov. Chris Gregoire starts 2011 Legislature with a budget she hates. State Senate seats newly elected member tainted by Moxie Media campaign-finance scandal. Gregoire rules out tax hikes because voters just rejected pop and candy taxes. Insane gunman shoots U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords in Tucson. Seattle wants to keep some expiring Safeco Field taxes for bigger convention center. Wetside legislators suggest consolidating Eastern Washington counties they consider tax freeloaders. Economists think state economy is finally starting to pick up. No, really. It is winter but Arab Spring begins to bloom. Green Bay Packers win Super Bowl.
Some lawmakers want to make coffee the official state beverage. To boost student morale, some in Olympia seek to change term “achievement gap” to “opportunity gap.” Spokane again tops Tacoma in race to be Washington’s Second City. Protests at Wisconsin Capitol focus attention on fight over state worker unions. Libya’s Moammar Gadhafi vows to fight to his “last drop of blood.” To boost teacher morale, some in Olympia want to change term “Accountability Index” to “Achievement Index.” Super Computer Watson beats humans on “Jeopardy.” NFL owners lock out NFL players in dispute over how to divide billions of dollars. Massive earthquake and tsunami cripple Japan.
Congress stops fighting long enough to commemorate 150th anniversary of beginning of Civil War. Domestic Anglophiles stop everything long enough to watch the Royal Wedding and lament American victory in Revolutionary War. U.S. halts use of color-coded terror alerts. European debt crisis begins in Portugal. Osama bin Laden is killed while hiding in plain sight in Pakistan. Legislature limps to adjournment after 133 days. Despite rapture prediction by an 89-year-old radio evangelist, world does not end. Gregoire won’t seek a third term. Tacoma mayor says city should allow digital billboards because it doesn’t want to be “Mayberry.” Economists begin to question their own forecasts of a pending recovery. Congressman Anthony Weiner Tweets his Jockeys. Tainted German sprouts kill more than 50. Miami Heat doesn’t win NBA title.
The Space Shuttle program ends. U.S. Women don’t win exciting World Cup final. Bond rating agency downgrades U.S. debt rating. Starbucks boss Howard Schultz calls for boycott of politicians. London burns after days of riots. Rupert Murdoch hacks your voice mail. Debt-ceiling showdown ends with creation of Super Committee co-chaired by Washington Sen. Patty Murray. Earthquake and hurricane hit East Coast. America commemorates 10th anniversary of 9-11. Greece is broke. State finances get worse. Tacoma teachers go on strike. Tainted cantaloupes kill 29. Protestors Occupy Wall Street. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell repealed. Safeco Field taxes actually allowed to expire. In the political version of drafting in a bicycle race, GOP has a different presidential candidate take the lead each week so the others can save energy. Mariners don’t win World Series.
Amanda Knox is freed. Steve Jobs dies. Firefighters take both sides in private liquor debate. Protestors occupy just about every city in America. Federal courts says signers of initiatives can’t be anonymous. Italy is broke. Tacoma launches campaign to make Tacoma Dome attractive to NBA while league’s in midst of work stoppage. Gadhafi spills last drop of blood. Gregoire proposes another $2 billion cut from state budget. Down goes (Joe) Frazier. Gregoire now says she will ask for half-cent sales tax increase to soften cuts to schools. Gregoire calls Legislature into rare November special session in hopes they will act quickly. Super Committee proves itself not so super. Earth now has seven billion inhabitants. Sounders don’t win MLS Cup.
Occupy protesters occupy state Legislative Building, make better use of space than actual Legislature. Big football colleges that pay coaches $2 million protest NCAA proposal to give players $2,000 stipend. Legislative Republicans finally offer new revenue plan: HOTTEST SLOTS IN TOWN. Wall Street ends year up, but barely. Pot legalization drive succeeds in putting initiative before Legislature and then people if lawmakers bogart it. Last U.S. troops leave Iraq.
Peter Callaghan: 253-597-8657
peter.callaghan@thenewstribune.com
blog:thenewstribune.com/politics
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