1. Texas Rangers: How well are things going for the Chainsaw Massacre crew? Rookie reliever Robbie Ross is 4-0.
2. Washington Nationals: Nats’ starting rotation drawing early comparisons to ’70s Orioles, ’90s Braves.
3. Los Angeles Dodgers: Matt Kemp’s numbers resembling those of a young Albert Pujols. Remember that guy?
4. Tampa Bay Rays: Skipper Joe Maddon looks like Spencer Tracy, hunts for clues like Dick Tracy.
5. St. Louis Cardinals: David Freese proving 2011 Series MVP honors were no fluke.
6. Chicago White Sox: Cool, controlled Robin Ventura providing fresh air in the aftermath of Hurricane Ozzie.
7. Atlanta Braves: Solid, young rotation mitigates sudden, mysterious decline of presumptive ace Jair Jurrjens.
8. New York Yankees: Derek Jeter vying for the first AL Player of the Month award of his career.
9. Baltimore Orioles: Colorado castaway Jason Hammel (3-0, 1.73) could be headed to Kansas City for the All-Star Game.
10. Cleveland Indians: Jack Hannahan latest ex-Mariner to discover success as a member of the Tribe.
11. Toronto Blue Jays: Jose, can you see? Slumping slugger Bautista can’t be done with April soon enough.
12. Cincinnati Reds: Reds aren’t hitting. But then, outside Texas, who is?
13. Philadelphia Phillies: Trouble in Philly? The offense is anemic, and Cliff Lee’s oblique injury isn’t what Doc Halladay ordered.
14. Detroit Tigers: Why is Prince Immobile Fielder playing first base?
15. Los Angeles Angels: Halos’ anticipated match race with Texas turning into a runaway for the Rangers.
16. San Francisco Giants: Did struggling, velocity-deprived Tim Lincecum switch bodies with revived junkballer Barry Zito?
17. Milwaukee Brewers: Nyjer Morgan, spark plug of last year’s playoff team, fighting what he calls “a bad case of the coldness.”
18. Seattle Mariners: Hitting coach Chris Chambliss is thankful Mariners found their sticks in Hockeytown.
19. Colorado Rockies: Rox are as old as the hills: Six players over 35, including one, Jamie Moyer, who is seven months shy of 50.
20. Oakland Athletics: A’s no-names somehow play better on the field than they look on paper.
21. New York Mets: Knuckleball pitcher R.A. Dickey (a career-high of 11 wins) on pace to win 15-plus.
22. Boston Red Sox: Acquisition of pro’s pro Marlon Byrd could help ease clubhouse tensions with the volatile Bobby V.
23. Arizona Diamondbacks: Going into the weekend, shortstop Willie Bloomquist had a walk-to-strikeout ratio of 1-16.
24. Pittsburgh Pirates: Bucs recently set MLB record of 18 straight games in which neither team scored more than five runs.
25. Miami Marlins: There’s already talk about moving the fences in at 25-day-old Marlins Park.
26. Chicago Cubs: Because shortstop Starlin Castro is an error waiting to happen, manager Dale Sveum must work on Castro’s overthrows.
27. Houston Astros: When the ’Stros change leagues in 2013, they’ll replace the A’s for distinction of Most Obscure AL West lineup.
28. Minnesota Twins: Catcher Joe (Without Power) Mauer hit 28 home runs in 2009; since then, he has 13.
29. Kansas City Royals: They just snapped a losing streak at 12 — and still had a better April than the ’88 Orioles, who began the season 0-21.
30. San Diego Padres: Hurry up, summer! Mariners play these guys six times between June 12 and June 24.
John McGrath, staff writer