Welcome back again, Junior. We knew you couldn’t stay away a second time.
That’s what came to mind when we recently started seeing election materials promoting Griffey for state representative in the 35th Legislative District.
The only ballot we ever thought would have the Mariner legend’s name on it is the one that will secure his admission to the Baseball Hall of Fame.
But you don’t have to be completely out in left field to imagine Griffey leaving Florida, settling down on the other side of the Narrows Bridge and running for office. His wife, Melissa, hails from Gig Harbor. And we’re fairly sure they can afford the toll.
Don’t forget his unfulfilled political aspirations from 1996, when Nike launched a “Griffey for President” campaign. It didn’t pan out because The Kid wasn’t old enough then to serve as the nation’s slugger-in-chief. Also, his running mate, the Mariner Moose, was a serious drag on the ticket.
Griffey the politician still could make a difference. Constituents would support a charismatic leader who stands for good schools and low taxes, and who pledges to move in the outfield fence at Safeco Field.
We’d be first in line for Rep. Ken Griffey, Jr. bobblehead night at the state Capitol.
All we ask is that he doesn’t sneak out during important floor votes and take a nap in the caucus recliner.
Swing and a miss: Turns out we had the wrong Griffey. The website griffey4statehouse.com shows the feller on this year’s ballot is a proud firefighter from Allyn, Mason County – a Republican by name of Dan Griffey. No relation to you-know-who.
This changeup is probably just as well. If the famous Griffey were elected and things didn’t go his way in Olympia, he might drive back to Florida without telling anyone. Or demand a trade to Cincinnati.
More election silliness: The Washington Fire Chiefs recently named state Sen. Derek Kilmer, D-Gig Harbor, an honorary chief at their state convention. They even gave him a traditional white leather fire helmet.
If he’s elected to Congress, maybe they’ll let him slide down the pole and drive the hook-and-ladder truck.
Summing up the column thus far: We’ve introduced a firefighter who wants to play politician and a politician who wants to play firefighter.
Can’t anybody these days just be satisfied with the jobs they have?
Make her an honorary police chief: State Senate candidate Jeannie Darneille was standing in her Tacoma kitchen Wednesday morning, looking out the window and eating oatmeal. You’d have thunk it was a bowl of Wheaties, based on her Facebook account of what happened next.
“I interrupted a home burglary at my next door neighbor’s house, chased two guys to the alley as they jumped on motorcycles, caught one of the plates, called TPD, and they’ve got one suspect in custody.”
Good luck to Darneille’s election opponents who try to claim the tough-on-crime label.
And to any punks who try to swipe her yard signs.
Ballot brain teaser: For all the angst over Referendum 74, the fate of same-sex marriage and the same-sex cake topper industry in Washington may come down to how many people are able to untangle the ballot language in November.
Just remember that everything is now the Superman Bizarro World version of what it was in the signature-gathering phase. If you wanted R-74 on the ballot, you should vote against it. If you hoped it wouldn’t see the light of day, vote for it.
Day is night, black is white, gay is straight.
Let’s hope for clearer language in the other measures this fall. Especially the initiative to legalize adult recreational use of marijuana.
The target “yes” demographic will need it explained simply. Very sloooooowly and very simply.
Got news for The Nose? Write to TheNose@thenewstribune.com.Twitter: @thenosetribune
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