I was driving down Schuster Parkway on Tacoma’s Commencement Bay, through a forest of campaign signs, when I realized that location is everything.
Next to the grain terminal was a section of railing that had been damaged, presumably by an errant car that had left a v-shaped indentation. Someone had placed a yard sign in the gap that promoted the campaign of a candidate for Pierce County assessor-treasurer with the slogan, “Let’s Fix This.”
I couldn’t agree more.
Slogans in campaigns have a long history. Some are better than others. Like when John Spellman’s re-election campaign for governor in 1984 was labeled, “You Can’t Beat John Spellman.” Booth Gardner’s slogan apparently was, “Wanna Bet?”
But they’ve become rather pedestrian, as if no candidates want to risk saying anything, even in their slogan. If the campaigns could take just one staffer off the negative ad beat for a few hours, they could certainly dream up a memorable slogan.
I’ll even give them a head start.
GOVERNOR
Rob McKenna: “Looks Like Harry Potter (and we could use a wizard about now).”
Or, “Do You Have Time To Look At My Spreadsheets?”
Or, “Smart Enough To Be Governor, Dumb Enough To Run.”
Jay Inslee: “Vague Is The New Specific.”
Or, “The Inslee Jobs Plan: 75 Points of Lite.”
Or, “Former Jocks Need Jobs Too.”
LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR
Brad Owen: “An Important Job (if someone dies).”
Bill Finkbeiner: “He Can Look Busy Too.”
SUPERINTENDENT
OF PUBLIC INSTRUCTION
Randy Dorn: “There’s No One Else Running.”
COMMISSIONER OF PUBLIC LANDS
Peter Goldmark: “Commissioning Lands For Four Years.”
Or, “He Looks Great In Flannel.”
Clint Didier: “He’ll Do Less Damage Here Than In The Senate.”
Or, “Gaining Ground In The NFL, Giving It Away In Washington.”
INSURANCE
COMMISSIONER
Mike Kreidler: “Dealing With Insurance People So You Don’t Have To.”
John Adams: “If the GEICO Gecko Could Vote, He’d Vote For Me.”
U.S. SENATE
Maria Cantwell: “You Want Warm And Fuzzy? Get A Cat.”
Or, “Defeating Male Republicans Since 2000.”
Michael Baumgartner: “Hey, Go VOTE Yourself.”
Or, “Look. Over Here. I’m Running Too. Hello?”
6TH DISTRICT CONGRESS
Derek Kilmer: “It’s Inevitable.”
Or, “Norm Dicks Likes Me.”
Or, “Older Than He Looks.”
Bill Driscoll: “Looks Better In a Combat Helmet Than Mike Dukakis.”
Or, “Well, You Could Have Had Doug Cloud Again.”
Or, “The Redistricting Commission Said It Was a Swing District!”
8TH DISTRICT CONGRESS
Dave Reichert: “Endorsed By Dave Reichert’s Hair.”
Or, “Have I Mentioned The Green River Killer Lately?”
Karen Porterfield: “Someone Had To Run.”
9TH DISTRICT CONGRESS
Adam Smith: “A Minority In A Majority-Minority District.”
Or, “Dull Is The New Exciting.”
Or, “A Tacoma Guy Representing Seattle.”
Jim Postma: “Actually, I AM A Rocket Scientist.”
Or, “It’s Me Again.”
10TH DISTRICT CONGRESS
Denny Heck: “Heck Yes, I Love Bad Puns.”
Dick Muri: “Endorsed By Most of The Republicans On The Pierce County Council.”
peter.callaghan@thenewstribune.com 253-597-8657 blog.thenewstribune.com/politics @CallaghanPeter
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