His thirst for power wasn’t slaked when he became Pierce County prosecutor in 2009. Nor when he was named chairman of the 2012-13 United Way campaign. Not even when he got to help pick the queen for last spring’s Daffodil Festival.
So we weren’t surprised when Mark Lindquist this week wheedled his way onto a panel that will select a District Court judge, over the protests of people who think it stinks. (What’s that new scent they’re wearing down at the prosecutor’s office? Smells like Conflict d’Interest No. 1.)
Lindquist is an ambitious dude with many interests. Who knows what ultimate life goals lay nestled in his restless heart, hidden behind those unsmiling lips and Big-Brother-Is-Watching-You eyes?
Mayor? Attorney general? CIA director? Creator and star of a new reality TV series, “The Prosecutor,” in which he gives a rose to one jail inmate each week as a promise to drop all charges?
Wherever his supreme self-confidence leads, we’ve no doubt Lindquist desires to make the world a better place. Like Gotham District Attorney Harvey Dent in the “Batman” movies, he wants to be our dashing white knight.
But unlike Harvey Dent, Lindquist could never be corrupted, right? Surely he must think so, if he believes he can help pick judges and stay above the fray.
Reminds us of the narrator in a classic novel who said: “I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known.”
Literature buff Lindquist should recognize the quote. It’s from “The Great Gatsby,” the story of a smart, crafty man who drives himself to reach the American Dream.
It’s one of Lindquist’s all-time favorite books.
Still bratty after all these years: Lindquist is a sucker not only for “Gatsby,” but for all things F. Scott Fitzgerald.
He’s also a sucker for Molly Ringwald, the redhead known for ’80s coming-of-age movies including “Breakfast Club” and “Sixteen Candles.”
They hung out in their California days, when she was a Brat Pack actress and he a Brat Pack writer.
Now Ringwald’s an author herself, and Lindquist recently interviewed her for the book section of The Oregonian. (Somehow he finds time to do book interviews, too.)
The article is headlined: “Molly Ringwald, Mark Lindquist: No longer ‘brats,’ but literary soul mates.” It’s littered with references to F. Scott Fitzgerald, natch.
And let’s just say it gets a little self-indulgent at the end.
Lindquist: “If we did this interview in a funky bar in the Bad Old Days, instead of on the phone and by email and text messages, what would we have been drinking and what would you have put on the jukebox?”
Ringwald: “You would have been hoping for Glenlivet but settled for J&B. I would have wanted Champagne but would’ve gotten white wine instead and then griped about it endlessly. You would have searched for a Replacements song but settled for the Smiths.”
Oh, brother. Can these two brats please get a room and get out of the ’80s, like the rest of us did, what, 22 years ago?
Their jukebox song should be “Don’t You Forget About Me.”
Things that go r-r-ring in the night: Those 60,000 Tacomans awakened by a 4 a.m. Amber Alert shouldn’t be too honked off. At least it wasn’t a death in the family, a school snow closure or a political robocall.
Curtain call: Rumors are swirling that Chris Gregoire could be President Obama’s next Interior secretary.
Seems like a nice fit for the White House. Say what you will about her politics, she’s kept the inside of the governor’s mansion looking spiffy.
Higher ed, bad in bed: Washington State University doesn’t just rank dead last in the Pacific-12 Conference in football. It’s also pulling up the rear in the 2012 Sexual Health Report Card sponsored by Trojan Brand Condoms. (Insert your own USC mascot joke here.)
The report card ranks campuses on everything from contraceptive availability to HIV testing to support groups. WSU Coug’ed it by falling 17 spots to No. 94 out of 141 U.S. colleges rated.
Huskies should resist getting cocky. UW came in at No. 58, a drop of 15 spots from 2011.
Goes to show that in sexual health, as in most fields of endeavor, neither Wazzu nor U-Dub likes it on top.Got news for The Nose? Write to TheNose@thenewstribune.com.