Pity the people of Eatonville and other lonely places under the bosom of Mount Rainier. As if they didn’t feel forsaken enough, waiting for their town to go bankrupt or a lahar to sweep them away, now they’re adrift in political limbo.
They’re trapped between their old congressman, who already moved out of the 253, and their new congressman, who won’t give them any love until he’s required to.
They’re the overlooked stepchildren watching a humorless game of musical chairs, in which Rep. Adam Smith, D-Not Tacoma, trades territory with Rep. Dave Reichert, R-Nowhere near Eatonville, after the once-a-decade redistricting scramble.
Let’s say these foothills dwellers want to write their new congressman. Maybe they’re worried about their country taking a Thelma-and-Louise trip off a fiscal cliff, and they want to share their concerns with Reichert.
Tough luck, kids – Come back next year. For now, you can talk only to the backside of Reichert’s magnificent head of hair.
Never mind that you cared enough to vote in his election 4½ weeks ago.
The rest of the story: A reader in Eatonville tells us she tried to send a letter to her new representative in the redrawn 8th District, but it bounced back when Reichert’s email system didn’t recognize her ZIP code.
Undaunted, she went through other channels and got this reply from the Auburn Republican’s staff:
“Unfortunately, we will not officially represent you until next inauguration day, January 21, 2013,” wrote communications director Natasha Mayer. “Sorry for the inconvenience.”
First of all, Mayer is flat wrong. The new Congress will be sworn in Jan. 3. (“Sorry for the misunderstanding!” Mayer replied to an inquiry from Le Schnoz.)
Second of all, who — if not Reichert — answers to these castaway citizens for the next month? Smith? Technically yes, but his heart’s not in it. The new 9th District rep bailed out of T-Town months ago, hightailing it to Bellevue faster than the Wintergrass Bluegrass Festival.
Stay strong, Eatonville-agers. Just suck it up for another 27 days. Black people and women were disenfranchised in America for generations.
To them, as well as you, words like these were offered to erase any hard feelings: “Sorry for the inconvenience.”
Candy-coated confusion: Check out the centennial tin of Almond Roca, now available at local stores.
We first saw the commemorative can of buttercrunch toffee on display at Bill Evans’ Pacific Northwest Shop in the Proctor district, alongside a sign that says “Thanks for helping to put Tacoma ‘on the map’ for 100 years!”
We thought (inaccurately) that Evans was being a smarty pants, considering the artwork on the tin is hardly Tacoma-centric. While there are a few token local images on the side — the car museum, the hotshop cone — the main art on the lid is an incongruous head-scratcher.
It shows the iconic pink Brown & Haley facade across the street from the Space Needle and Smith Tower.
We pray they didn’t let slip a drawing for the company’s next 100 years.
This just in! Sources tell us the classic Mountain Bar will be renamed the Montlake Bar.
A very chocolaty Chanukah: Like a confection crafted by a Jewish Willy Wonka, Tacoma on Sunday will celebrate the Festival of Lights with the unveiling of a hard-chocolate menorah inside the Broadway Center.
See you there for the 5 p.m. lighting. To show our centennial spirit, we’ll be wearing a buttercrunch toffee yarmulke.
She’s a real live outlaw! Our own Sen. Patty Murray must like the feeling of the wind in her hair, because she keeps threatening to drive straight over that fiscal cliff. Which got us wondering: Who does she resemble most, Thelma or Louise? And do they have room for a third in their T-Bird?
But what about Cheech? Stoner comedian Tommy Chong says he’s giddy about pot being legalized in both Washington and Colorado. He told NPR’s “All Things Considered” this week that he plans to move to both states.
Guess that’s what you might call joint custody.Got news for The Nose? Write to TheNose@thenewstribune.com. Twitter: @thenosetribune