Furthering our commitment to confusion and a complete lack of clarity, we present another edition of 33 questions and zero answers.
1. Why are non-Catholics so fascinated by the selection of a new pope?
2. Is it the shoes?
3. Why isn’t America as consumed by the naming of the Archbishop of Canterbury or the president of the Mormon church?
4. When you first heard the new pope had taken the name Francis, did you think first of “Stripes, “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” or “House of Cards?”
5. Is this an example of Pope Culture?
6. Does Washington House Speaker Frank Chopp still exist?
7. Since the reclusive House Democratic leader makes so few appearances in public, might others be running the House using some political version of “Weekend at Bernie’s?”
8. If the Seattle strongman finally emerges from his office and sees his shadow, does that portend another six weeks of the legislative session?
9. Can gun-rights activists continue to get away with opposing any and all new regulation as “the first step toward gun registration?”
10. Has the Great Recession ended?
11. Is new Gov. Jay Inslee ever in a bad mood?
12. If there comes a time when he has to act tough, will Inslee just play a video of his performance as Sen. Lucas in the very forgettable Christian Slater film, “The Deal?”
13. Which of his campaign buzz phrases does Inslee most regret introducing into the state’s political lexicon: “secret sauce,” “disruptive change” or “the most innovative state in human history?”
14. Is treatment for Inslee’s admitted Hoopaholism covered by the state’s medical plan?
15. Remember the ban on holding a cell phone while driving?
16. Which law was ignored more often and more flagrantly, the cell-phone-while-driving ban or prohibition?
17. Does anyone except those hired to promote the narrative really believe that the Majority Coalition Caucus in the state Senate is bipartisan?
18. Is attracting a few conservative Democrats to an otherwise Republican group enough to qualify for the label?
19. Do they have photographers at the ready to snap photos any time a member of the Democratic caucus chats with a member of the Majority Coalition Caucus?
20. Is state Rep. Ed Orcutt sorry that he told a state resident that bicyclists contribute to climate change with their increased heart rate and respiration or just sorry that the bicyclist told people about it?
21. If heavy breathing is a contributing factor to global warming, shouldn’t we ban obscene phone calls?
22. Wait, does anyone even make obscene phone calls anymore or do they just send sexts?
23. Why can’t we start Daylight-Saving time on Saturday morning so those with regular work weeks can have an extra day to sleep it off?
24. If the police can have small drones to keep an eye on us, can we have small surface-to-air missiles?
25. Better yet, can our drones engage their drones in pilotless dogfights?
26. Can we really have a pilot program to test attempts to regulate government use of pilotless aircraft?
27. How do we get words like “sequestration” out of our heads?
28. Will it just fade away from lack of use (and lack of meaning) like super-committee and shovel-ready?
29. How long must we wait to launch an initiative to deregulate pot sales?
30. Would backers be able to claim that ending the state’s control led to lower costs since we now know a similar claim about booze was loaded?
31. How long before we can have conversations about legalization of marijuana without making jokes about Cheech and Chong and Cheetos or saying “Dude”?
32. Are we to be reassured that one of the proposed fixes to the burning batteries on Boeing’s 787 is stronger boxes to contain the fires?
33. Given how much an airline ticket costs, should I really have to worry about the batteries on a Dreamliner before turning on the overhead fan?Peter Callaghan: 253-597-8657