Get ready, sconeheads. Only three weeks left until the gates open at the Fair Formerly Known as The Puyallup.
The Native American word, which means “generous people,” has been reduced to a throwaway tagline: “Do the Puyallup.” It’s a token tip of the cowboy hat to that !%$#@! jingle we lifers can’t get out of our heads.
As the name for a state fair, Puyallup is too hard to pronounce, we’re told. Translation: too hayseed and small-townish.
But here’s something an avid Schnoz reader from the Hill South of Puyallup pointed out: The re-branded, de-Puyallup’ed end-of-summer celebration henceforth called the Washington State Fair will have the same acronym as the Washington State Ferries.
WSF could be confusing, he says.
Both WSFs have spendy entry tickets. Both have pricey food. Both come with a decent chance of motion sickness. Both tend to be overcrowded on sunny weekends. And both are good places to people-watch, especially if you like to watch old men napping on benches.
All this confusion just won’t do, our friend says! Washington State Ferries must change its name!
What should it be called, pray tell?
The Puyallup Ferries has a nice ring to it, he says.
Toot the Puyallup.
That’s one big boat: Puyallup already enjoys an association with the state ferry system because one of WSF’s three Jumbo Mark II class ferries is named the M/V Puyallup.
So there you go, Puyallup boosters. Who needs the biggest fair in the state when you have the biggest boat in the fleet?
And pronouncing “Puyallup” is a cinch compared to “Chetzemoka” or “Klahowya.”
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Don’t Needle us: Our chums down at the County-City Building showed us their invitations to this fall’s Pacific Northwest Digital Government conference, sponsored by Government Technology magazine.
Figured they could walk to it, since it’s supposedly being held at the Greater Tacoma Convention and Trade Center.
On second glance, it could be a long walk.
Memo to Government Technology magazine: Perhaps the first technology you should master is Google Maps.
Or maybe: That’s just a really bad drawing of the Tacoma Totem Pole.
Going down?: We’d have figured that by now the elevator is a pretty mature technology.
Using motors and cables to lift boxes full of people has been perfected everywhere since at least, oh, the Civil War. The elevator has made so many innovations possible. Like, the skyscraper. Also, humankind’s ability to look forward and avoid eye contact for minutes on end.
Perfected everywhere, that is, except here. A rash of elevator breakdowns (Murray Morgan Bridge, Tacoma Dome transit garage, Holiday Inn Express) has given new meaning to “Fearless Exploration,” the Tacoma Regional Convention & Visitor Bureau’s new slogan — oops, we mean “brand.”
Around here, you’d have to be fearless just to take the elevator down to street level to begin exploring.
Will they dust for prints after? You think nobody uses tired marijuana stereotypes more than us? Think again.
Seattle police plan to distribute small bags of Nacho Cheese Doritos at Hempfest on Sunday, along with educational handouts about Washington’s new hippie lettuce law.
They’re calling it “Operation Orange Fingers.” No joke.
A commenter on the Seattle Times website notes that another snack would be more fitting for cops to give away.
Why not Lay’s potato chips? Because that’s what the vice squad would hand out.
Kilmer on your brain: It’s tough to make people forget Norm Dicks, but that Derek Kilmer, he’s giving it his best shot.
The Democratic congress rookie from Gig Harbor is everywhere. He did a listening tour, a telephone town hall, a Twitter town hall and now something called the “Conversations with Kilmer” tour.
We hear he may open for Taylor Swift at the Tacoma Dome.
On his summer break from D.C., the ubiquitous Kilmer is making the rounds of the 6th District. (In Tacoma, at Knapp’s Restaurant, next Wednesday from 8-10 a.m.) He calls them “office hours,” as if he were a college professor. (Hey, at least he’s not sticking us with a graduate assistant.)
Other events include Kilmer at the Park, Kilmer at Your Company — even something called Kilmer on Your Dock.
So far, there’s no Kilmer on Your Lawn, Kilmer in Your Basement, or Kilmer in Your Jacuzzi.
But stay tuned. His re-election campaign is still a year away.