Arrivederci, Aberdeen. Hasta la vista, Hoquiam. Toodle-oo, Taholah, wherever the heck you are.
We’ll kinda miss you when you’re gone, but not half as much as we’ll miss feeling the sea breeze in our Schnoz at Long Beach and Ocean Shores.
Alas, all the aforementioned Washington coastal communities, plus several others, may be headed for catastrophe.
No, not a tsunami or a shark-nado or even a zombie apocalypse.
They’re among 1,429 towns and cities around the U.S. that may be half wiped out by rising sea levels by the year 2100 – at least if you believe an analysis by climatologist Benjamin Strauss, published recently in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
Strauss says hundreds of American burgs will see 50 percent of their populations displaced to higher ground by the end of this century, unless mankind gets a grip on greenhouse gasses by 2020.
Miraculously, just one city in Pierce County is on the doomsday list.
Let’s just say we hope the Poodle Dog knows how to dog paddle.
Things we’ll miss about Fife:
• The rich array of fresh produce at Sterino’s farm stand … wait, the stand is gone and most of the farms are paved over? Never mind.
• The quaint post office with mom and pop grocery next door ... on second thought, Fife never got its own post office or grocery store. Bummer.
• The historic ruins of Ballinbreich Castle … hold on, that’s in Fife, Scotland.
• The Space Needle … if only Seattle hadn’t spurned Fife’s offer to buy and relocate it in the late ’70s.
• The one-of-a-kind Pick-Quick burger stand, a landmark on Pacific Highway East since 1949 … what, you say there’s a Pick-Quick in Auburn now, too? Aha.
Let’s back up and try this again.
Things we’ll miss about Fife, take 2:
• The Cabbage Patch Olympics. Fife High School students hold them every fall. (Go Trojans!)
• Late-night Fife City Council meeting replays on PCTV. Works better than Ambien.
• The Fife Jail. Will Tacoma ever find a cheaper place to lock up its baddies?
• The Emerald Queen Casino. How will we get by with just the one EQC in Tacoma?
• The northern security buffer. There no longer will be anything between us and Federal Way.
Block party or block potty? Say this much about the fertile minds at Rusty George Creative, the Tacoma advertising and design firm: They know how to make the best of a crappy situation.
Someone associated with last weekend’s Downtown Block Party set up porta-privies under the company’s office windows on Broadway.
So the Georgies got into the spirit of things by, in essence, dreaming up thought bubbles for people stuck using the toilets.
Those creatives, they aim to please.
And for anyone using a porta-john, we ask that they aim, too, please.
Full-throttle cheerleader: That Pat McCarthy, she’s a true believer when it comes to Tacoma Link.
McCarthy, the Pierce County executive who’s also chairwoman of the Sound Transit Board, joined Tacoma Mayor Marilyn Strickland on Thursday passing out cupcakes at Union Station in honor of Link’s 10th anniversary.
McCarthy also went to the City Council on Tuesday to receive a proclamation naming Thursday “Tacoma Link Day.”
She blew a train whistle – choo choo! – as she came to the podium to brag about the light rail line that runs from Tacoma Dome Station to the Theater District. Accompanying her was a Sound Transit entourage armed with clackers to enhance the railroad sound effects.
We half expected P-Mac to pull out a harmonica and rip into a solo of “This Train is Bound for Glory.”
“Let me just say that I remember when this idea was first noodled, so to speak,” she said. “And how there were a lot of folks who didn’t think this 1.6 miles would really do much.”
Well, it really does something – it runs 1.6 miles; 3.2 miles if you ride both ways.
Not quite as exciting as being the terminus of the transcontinental Northern Pacific Railroad, mind you. But not bad in today’s world of no frontiers and low expectations.
And we’ll never turn down a free cupcake.
Got news for The Nose? Write to TheNose@ thenewstribune.com. @thenosetribune