Women are the new men. Females run the world. Or as that gang of ponytails prophetically sneered on the playground ages ago when we were but a wee Nostril: Girls rule, boys drool.
For proof, look no further than the Nose household of 2013. All the high-level planning, thinking and AP calculus is done by females. Snores Truly, meanwhile, is left to do mindless manly tasks (fixing a toilet, disposing of spiders, watching football) while a TV ad for erectile dysfunction plays in the background.
“This is the age of knowing how to get things done,” a masculine voice-over says, while Viagra Man is shown making fire with flint and a pocket knife.
OK, but who gets things done the right way? Women. First off, they’d never forget to bring a lighter to a campout.
Tacoma accepts this postfeminist reality better than anyone.
We are, after all, a city whose name is taken from a native word for a mountain shaped like a woman’s large, powerful bosom.
A city where City Manager T.C. Broadnax recently defended the right of women not to have to wear pantyhose at City Hall.
In a rare bit of good news for men, we’re pretty sure that right applies to us, too.
Can’t spell Tacoma without ma: Now T-Town has notched a few more points on the Double X revolution scorecard. Hanna Rosin, author of “The End of Men and the Rise of Women,” will speak next week at the University of Washington Tacoma.
Rosin will headline the prestigious 2013 Paulsen Lecture, named for the late Arthur Paulsen — a Tacoma native who, ironically, was a man.
According to Rosin, the traditional man is losing his dominant place in the classroom, the workforce, the family, even (gasp) the boudoir. And “cardboard man,” as she calls him, has shown no sign of changing.
In addition to her matriarchal manifesto (womanifesto?), Rosin is a senior editor at The Atlantic. Maybe she should work at “No Duh” magazine instead. Her observations seem fairly routine around these parts. Consider:
- Two of the city’s most influential educators — the Tacoma school district superintendent and the UWT chancellor — are not men.
- Washington state’s two U.S. senators are similarly not of the male persuasion. Ditto the Tacoma mayor and Pierce County executive. So entrenched are these bigwigs that they’ve faced no serious political challenges, whether from men or other oppressed special interest groups. Why run against them when you’ll just get manhandled?
- Early figures at UWT this year show 57 percent of new students are not guys. (And why would they want to be?)
Frankly, none of this behavior is very ladylike.
Manhood’s last stand: It might be happening in Meekerville.
All five members of the Puyallup School Board are fellas. Same goes with the six good old boys of the Puyallup City Council.
The closest thing to gender diversity (or any diversity) can be found in a Council District 3 seat.
Who’d have guessed the most female-minded institution in town is the Washington State Fair Board. It has one woman. Still, with a strong majority of 11 men on the board, the old motto still stands:
Dude the Puyallup.
We surrender!: The war on drugs, that is. TV newsman Stephen Colbert pointed this out in his usual Cronkite-esque manner this week as he coined new nicknames for us and that other hash-loving state.
Cheech-orado and Washing-Chong.
Speaking of the illustrious Cheech and Chong, they’re doing a gig at the Emerald Queen Casino next month.
While they’re here, maybe they can pick up some consulting work for the state Liquor and Ganja Control Board. The could drive down to Olympia in their legendary van made of weed.
Pot for potholes: That’s what a Michigan lawmaker calls his idea to legalize wacky weed in his state and spend all the tax revenues on road repairs.
Laugh all you want, Tacoma. But if Proposition 1 fails next month, it might not seem like such a dopey thing to try.
Norm’s back in form: At a local transportation forum the other night, Congressman Emeritus Norm Dicks showed up to advocate for the ports of Tacoma and Seattle.
He described them as being “under attack from the Canadians.”
The image is frightful: A flotilla of warships sailing under the Maple Leaf flag and attacking the Hylebos. Filled with Mounties.