As if drivers needed another distraction while passing through the South Sound’s flashing billboard jungle, a new assault was launched on the eyeballs this week.
It’s not the parade of Seahawks flags and booster signs on Interstate 5 in the Fife-Milton-Tacoma corridor that has our snoot in a snit.
Quite the opposite, it’s the fact that an enemy force interrupted our 12th Man kumbaya session.
These hostiles dared to insult the player who won the NFC Championship game Sunday.
There he is, the man of the hour — Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman, on a video billboard. He’s shown in a post-game scream of bestial triumph — with the words “Zero Class” printed over him.
Or at least he was there Thursday morning; ’twas gone by afternoon. Those fighting words were replaced with more fitting words: “Richard Sherman is a class act.”
There hasn’t been so much commotion and confusion in Fife since the red-light traffic cameras were installed.
Not in our backyard: By now, Sherman’s amped-up interview after Sunday’s game — in which he simultaneously channeled Muhammad Ali and Joe Pesci — is well-documented. We’ll leave it for the legions of sports pundits, social scientists and armchair bloggers to sort out.
But an anti-Sherman billboard on our freeway, smack dab in the middle of Hawk Nation? That’s more offensive than Marshawn Lynch’s sweat-soaked jersey on the fourth day of summer training camp.
Whatever fans do on their home turf is their business. A Denver appliance store put up a sign this week that says “Class” above a photo of Broncos cornerback Champ Bailey and “No Class” above a picture of Sherman.
Fair enough. There’s still a game to be settled between those two teams.
But the Fife billboard apparently was the work of 49ers fans — the same ones who paid for another message in the same spot before Christmas. “Got Lombardis?” it teased, alongside a picture of their team’s five Super Bowl trophies.
Hey, Forty-Whiners, we have three words for you: Get over it.
The game is over. Your season is over. Your dynasty is over.
And it looks like your mediocre (mee-dee-oh-kur!) freeway pranks are over, too.
Billboard epilogue: A member of the Puyallup Tribe of Indians who owns the land and leases it to an outdoor advertising company demanded the message be taken down. And it was.
Nobody was more glad to see it go than the tribe, who had taken some misdirected flack from Hawks fans.
Same with Bill Rowling, owner of Truck City CB. Rowling has his own smaller billboard nearby that says: “Go Seahawks, Beat SF up.” He told the Schnoz he’ll replace it soon with an appropriate anti-Denver message.
So all is right again with the world. Let the kumbaya continue.
And let bygones be bygones. Take your 49ers friends out for a cold drink to drown their sorrows. We suggest Frisko Freeze.
Enough already!: We get that everyone in Olympia is a Seahawks fan. But could you all please stop blurting out “Go Hawks” in serious settings?
Gov. Jay Inslee set the trend by using it as the walk-off line in his State of the State speech.
Seahawk fever even erupted during a pro-life rally at the Capitol this week. Sen. Jan Angel rather randomly opened her speech by saying she’d recently received the gift of a shirt that says: “God, family, then Seahawks.”
Rep. Drew MacEwen later explained a scratch on his face with an awkward football joke. If he was willing to get himself injured for the Hawks, he said, just imagine what he’d do for unborn children.
Perhaps the most mind-boggling display of 12th Mania happened Monday at a Senate committee hearing. A lobbyist introduced himself and wished the committee: “Happy ‘Something’ Day!”
To which Sen. Janéa Holmquist Newbry, the committee chairwoman, quickly filled in: “Happy ‘Go Seahawks’ Day!!”
Guess you can’t blame ’em for failing to mention Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Why should they, when they didn’t get to take the holiday off?
Question and answer: A sports columnist for the Oklahoman is using the occasion of the Seahawks’ Super Bowl run to offer a truce.
“You’ve got a great football team. We’ve got a great basketball team. Can we all just get along now?”
In a word, heck no.Got news for The Nose? Write to TheNose@thenewstribune.com. Twitter: @thenosetribune