It’s been awhile — far too long, actually — since we aimed the ol’ sniffer at Mark Lindquist.
So let’s make up for lost time and declare that 2014 will be a smash year for the Pierce County prosecutor slash crime novelist slash one of People magazine’s most eligible bachelors of 2000. (He’s a married papa today.)
You heard it here first: Lindquist is gonna blow up this year, all 6 foot 6 inches of him. He’ll trend on Twitter, be liked by thousands on Facebook, and dominate all kinds of other measures establishing him as hombre muy importante.
Don’t be surprised if Broadway rolls out a musical of Lindquist’s “King of Methlehem,” starring Nathan Lane as county prosecutor Mike Lawson. Or maybe Lindquist will tip away a deciding pass in the NFC championship game.
His big year started with a recent announcement on social media: The man who put the “cute” in prosecute is running for a second full term as our guardian and protector, and he’ll hold a campaign kickoff party in April. Special guests include Gov. Jay Inslee and Tacoma Mayor Marilyn Strickland.
Those are ho-hum choices from the de rigueur politician list. But Lindquist is also drawing from his Rolodex of 1980s celebrities with whom he used to hang out and canoodle.
Representing the former: Peter Buck, guitarist for R.E.M.
The latter: Molly Ringwald, the redhead known for her teen-angst movies. The Brat Packer has grown up to be quite a jazz singer.
Both Buck and Ringwald will reportedly perform at Lindquist’s soiree.
This means Tacoma will bask in a visit from our crush of 30 years ago (Ringwald, not Buck) — she who gave voice to some of Hollywood’s all-time most profound quotes, such as: “I can’t believe I gave my panties to a geek.”
Perhaps a Lindquist friend expressed it best on Facebook: “Gov. Inslee may want to look into reducing global warming at the Temple Theater on this night, cuz Molly is hot!!”
Zeit who?: Also making Lindquist buzzworthy in 2014 is global anticipation for his fifth novel, as yet unpublished and unnamed.
Reviews of his previous books say, over and over, that he “captures the Zeitgeist.”
Not sure who the Zeitgeist is, but he sounds German. And we bet Lindquist not only captures him, he also locks him up for life without parole.
He knows gritty: Lindquist’s previous works of fiction include “The King of Methlehem” (an urban retelling of Christ’s birth? Sorry, we didn’t read it) and “Never Mind Nirvana” (Lindquist’s riff on his Beatles-like experiment with Eastern philosophy? Sorry, again).
His new novel revolves around the murder investigation of a music producer who moves north to sell pot after Washington becomes the first state to legalize.
So, as usual, the literary Brat Packer celebrates our finest impulses.
The author’s website says: “The investigation leads pot-smoking Wyatt from gritty Tacoma to his parent’s old mansion in glittery Los Angeles and back to the far, dark, gloomiest corners of the Northwest.”
C’mon, Mark. Gritty? That old groaner?
Just once, can’t somebody make us the glittery ones?
Surprise, surprise, surprise!: That’s what Gomer Pyle might say after learning Anders Ibsen was back in T-Town and ready to return to Tacoma City Council duty after only three weeks of U.S. Marine Corps reserves training.
And Councilman Joe Lonergan might want to say: No surprises here.
It was just last month that Lonergan helped pave the way for Ibsen to rejoin the council, were he to break a leg or wash out during his 10-month hitch.
This week, Jo Lo looked like he wanted to say a lot, but told a reporter little more than this: “It is what it is. He’s coming back ... I hope I didn’t jinx him.”
And Ibsen? Well, he didn’t make the Marines, though we credit him for trying.
He could always try the Mariners. Pitchers and catchers report for camp Feb. 12.
Just one week?: Seattle Mayor Ed Murray appeared at a 12th Man rally Wednesday, proclaiming this week would henceforth be known as “Seahawk Week.”
And there was much rejoicing.
But doesn’t “Seahawk Week” falsely suggest Murray’s city can find something else to get excited about during the other 51?Got news for The Nose? Write to TheNose@thenewstribune.com. Twitter: @thenosetribune