The Nose: We’re No. 3! And, as fate would have it, so is the Hawks’ QB

TheNose@thenewstribune.comFebruary 7, 2014 

This is the last frame TNT photo editor Joe Barrentine made before Russell Wilson plowed into him at the Super Bowl. With similar force, Wilson has run headlong into Tacoma’s heart.

JOE BARRENTINE/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Russell Wilson plays in Seattle, but his underdoggedness makes him a perfect poster child for the City of Destiny.

Underrated and undersized, not a heavy favorite to play with the big boys, Wilson was the Tacoma of the NFL. He reported to Seahawks training camp his rookie year in 2012 projected as the No. 3 quarterback on the depth chart. Kinda like how T-Town ranks behind Seattle and Spokane on population charts.

Granted, our fortunes haven’t risen as meteorically as young Mr. Wilson’s, but our time is coming. Just wait. Very patiently.

The Washington State Ferries clearly understands this karmic connection between the No. 3 city and the Seahawk with the No. 3 jersey.

The ferry system renamed all its vessels after the Hawks’ starting offensive and defensive players for Super Bowl weekend. (Sorry, special teamers and nickel package defenders. Not enough boats in the fleet.)

It can’t be a coincidence that the M/V Tacoma was given the name M/V Russell Wilson.

Tacoma also has the only high school in Western Washington named Wilson.

We don’t even care that Wilson crashed into News Tribune photo editor Joe Barrentine on the sideline during the Super Bowl. Knowing Barrentine as we do, he had it coming.

There’s just one teensy, weensy problem with R-Dub.

The pain! The betrayal: He didn’t choose his first name, and we don’t necessarily expect him to change it. But did Wilson have to make a deal with the devil, aka Evil Empire, aka Lord Voldemort, aka the Turncoat Company That Shall Not Be Named?

“I’m excited to launch this program with Russell Investments,” Wilson said in a statement when the “Invested with Russell” partnership was inked last summer.

Egads, he said it! And it doth cut us to the marrow!

True, Evil Empire donated $2,000 to kids’ charities for every Wilson touchdown pass during the regular season. But $54,000 hardly salves the wounds in an abandoned city’s soul.

Evil Empire can have Russell Crowe, the actor. It can have Russell Johnson, the Gilligan’s Island castaway and Bainbridge resident (rest in peace). It can even have Russell Okung, the Seahawks left tackle.

But leave our guy alone. We have too much invested in the good Russell, and we’ve fully divested from the evil one.

Another Seahawk to cheer for: “Jermaine Kearse, you just won the Super Bowl, what are you going to do next?”

“I’m going to … the Lakewood farmers market?”

OK, Kearse wasn’t MVP of Super Bowl XLVIII, so he didn’t go to Disney World.

But the pride of Lakes High School does get the next best thing – undying affection and benign exploitation from his hometown.

No. 15 came through with a dazzling second-half touchdown catch, and now folks back home want a piece of the action.

A Lakewood resident suggested to the City Council this week that Kearse be asked to appear at the farmers market this fall as part of the “I Love Lakewood” campaign.

A Clover Park School District board member also suggested hitching on to Kearse’s star to raise awareness for education funding.

“Look at Jermaine Kearse, he’s all over the newspaper,” Paul Wagemann said. “How do we leverage that to support our school district?”

Here’s a crazy thought: If you want to impress him, splash him on the top of the city website where you now have Terry Bradshaw, former quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers (boo!) and the pride of Shreveport, La. (hee haw!)

If you’re going to pay an NFL personality to do an infomercial for Lakewood, maybe he should be from – wait for it – Lakewood.

Moment of loudness: At 12:12 p.m. Wednesday, all across 12th Man nation.

Surely the librarians union was not consulted about this.

Moments of tinnitus: From 12:13 p.m. until 5:37 p.m., same day.

Seen on the hillside above T-Town: It’s hard to miss the neon sign on the slope above Interstate 5 showing the name of one of the 253’s most venerable restaurants.

Although, if you believed the neon the past few weeks, the name had changed – to Stanley.

What a relief to see the sign fully lit Thursday night. Guess they patched up their relationship, decided to stay together.

We don’t need to say “so long” to Mr. Seafort after all.

Seen on the wall at Tacoma City Hall: A poster that lists “successful meeting behaviors” now hangs in every room where public meetings are held.

The rule that jumped out at us: “Use business-appropriate language and gestures.”

Don’t worry, fellow roughnecks. It doesn’t specify what kind of business.

Got news for The Nose? Write to TheNose@thenewstribune.com. Twitter: @thenosetribune

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