The Nose: Enjoy a cookie and candy heart, but hands off the flowers

Staff writerFebruary 14, 2014 

Let them eat cookies.

The pols in O-Town are busy making legislative sausage — for, what, 60 whole days this year? They’ve been going about the hard work of congratulating the Seahawks and renaming Mount Rainier and designating the official state oyster.

The least we can do is let them ignore the rules against eating on the Senate floor for one day. So what if they spill a few crumbs on the fancy carpets?

Lt. Gov. Brad Owen, who presides over the Senate, will bring homemade cookies, as he does every year for Valentine’s Day. We’re pretty sure this duty is prescribed in the state Constitution, Article III, Section 16, under the “snacks” clause.

Far be it from the Nose to mess with a sacred holiday tradition. We have our own personalized candy heart ritual every Feb. 14, as you can see.

The cookies, incidentally, are the proud handiwork of Linda Owen, aka Mrs. Lieutenant Governor.

She takes the job seriously. Just ask her hubby, who tried to give her the holiday off in 2013 because the Senate was not scheduled to work Feb. 14.

“I nearly was thrown out of the house,” the junior gov told senators. Mrs. Owen spent 10 hours in the kitchen, and the pols had their cookies a day early.

Then they made each other macaroni-noodle valentines and lay down on their mats for naptime.

Blooming mad: Today is also a time when some legislators display bouquets on their desks from loved ones. It’s a nice gesture of affection, since some of these lovebirds are hundreds of miles from their spouses, and hundreds of yards from their lobbyists.

Just don’t touch Sen. Pam Roach’s flowers, unless you want to risk a St. Valentine’s Day massacre. Folks around here still remember 1998 when someone moved a display of red and pink roses from Roach’s desk, stoking the wrath of the Auburn Republican.

“I want to go on record,” Roach fumed. “I don’t want even a pencil moved on my desk.”

Probably better not touch her cookies, either.

Gentlemen, start your engines!: Pierce County has asked the state for a bigger cut of the state tax revenue that will flow when the U.S. Open is played in University Place next year.

But one lawmaker was unimpressed by the remaining $5 million in tax revenues the state would collect from the golf championship.

“This is peanuts compared to NASCAR,” Sen. Jim Hargrove, D-Hoquiam, told the Ways and Means Committee.

“Alright, Ricky Bobby,” said Sen. Andy Hill, R-Redmond.

Actually, Hargrove might be on to something. No objection from us if he wants to knock down Hoquiam and put a NASCAR track in its place.

Beefcake baristas: Those scoundrels in Spokane, they stole our idea.

Today, an entrepreneur in that city plans to open a coffee shop staffed by shirtless men, according to The Spokesman-Review newspaper. It will be called Hot Cup of Joe.

We had the same concept for a Tacoma coffee shop, only it would be staffed entirely by shirtless men named Joe.

Tacoma City Councilman Joe Lonergan. Tacoma shipbuilder Joe Martinac. Tacoma restaurateur and former political boss Joe Stortini.

Looking for investors. And a few more Joes.

It’s Daffy time again: We’d never suggest Pierce County’s annual Daffodil Festival has any hype associated with it. But the Daffodilians might’ve been stretching when they equated last Friday’s princess promenade with the opening ceremonies at the Winter Olympics, held the same night.

“Who needs Sochi? We had our own Opening Ceremony last night,” they posted on their Facebook page last weekend.

So what if they didn’t have a 40-million ruble budget or 40,000 spectators. Or Vladimir Putin.

They made up for it with 100-megawatt smiles and shiny tiaras and so much bright yellow fabric, the Jamaican bobsled team would’ve been jealous.

And, bonus, no stray dogs!

Someday our prince will come: Not on the 2014 Daffodil court. Maybe not in our lifetime. But you can’t blame us for imagining what his official attire might look like.

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