Welcome, friends, to the eagerly awaited month of June – known alternately as Gay Pride Month, Adopt-A-Cat Month or Accordion Awareness Month.
It’s also National Bathroom Reading Month. Maybe you’re celebrating it right now.
In Pierce County, we like to call June The Month After Bike Month, aka Internal Combustion Gas Guzzler Appreciation Month.
Meantime, starting immediately, our visionary neighbors to the north will refer to the sixth month of the year by a name so bold, so uber-progressive, it will blow your minds.
By proclamation of the Metropolitan King County Council, June will henceforth be exalted as Seattle Seahawks Month.
So let it be written. So let it be done.
You might be puzzled why the host of the world champion footballers would wait a full four months after Super Bowl XLVIII to declare a month in the team’s honor.
Don’t forget the game was played in New Jersey. News travels slowly to the western end of the telegraph line.
Or perhaps wary government poobahs, familiar with coach Pete Carroll’s college football legacy, wanted extra time to make sure the Seahawks weren’t stripped of their title.
Most ironic part of this proclamation?: The very idea that one month should be set aside for hero worship when the Seahawks already own the whole year.
If the county burghers knew what’s good for their constituents, they’d decree one month each year to be Seahawk-free. A time to wash off the blue-and-green body paint, read a book, get reacquainted with the children. Maybe take up a hobby other than year-round bird watching.
A time for everyone to flush the NFL out of their systems and start afresh.
A Seahawks detox.
He’s an original: It wasn’t enough for King County Council members to declare a Seahawks month. They also voted this week to designate The Original 12th Man.
The honor went to their colleague Pete von Reichbauer, longtime county councilman from Federal Way. PvR of the FW is credited with working behind the scenes to find a new owner when Ken Behring threatened to sell or move the team in the late ’90s.
(Selective memory. Nobody mentions anymore that PvR-FW tried to slow down Mariners ballpark construction, which caused the M’s to threaten to sell or move the team in the late ’90s.)
We don’t begrudge PvR-FW the accolades. It’s swell that his council mates proclaimed June 2, 2014, “Pete von Reichbauer Day.” Nothing makes our Nose glow with warmth more than career politicians giving awards to other career politicians.
It’s also sweet that the Federal Way City Council this year gave him its first-ever key to the city. Rumor has it he can use the key to access Wild Waves after hours.
We just don’t know if he can rightfully claim the title of the Original 12th Man. Those rabid fans at Texas A&M might beg to differ. Also, Judas Iscariot.
Matchmaker, matchmaker: By many accounts, von Reichbauer helped put a millionaire and a billionaire together so that a Seahawks deal could get done. The politician’s solicitude toward Behring, a man everyone else branded an archdemon, made a difference. Behring sold the team to Paul Allen in 1997.
Too bad things didn’t turn out the same way 10 years later, when Clay Bennett announced plans to move the Sonics to Oklahoma City.
“Demonizing Clay is not going to help solve the problem,” von Reichbauer said on Nov. 2, 2007. “I think people should try to work with him to try and find a solution.”
Memo to PvR-FW: Some demons just can’t be bargained with.
Sexy and they know it: Seattle-based Brooks Running Co. released a survey this week that found 76 percent of respondents believe “people look sexy when they’re running.”
The survey group, not surprisingly, was comprised of runners.
Sedentary civilians would answer much differently — especially anyone observing the finish line/heaving line at the June 14 Sound to Narrows.
Eyes on the prize: So Tacoma City Hall is shelling out $300,000 for a long-term vision called “Tacoma 2025.” We knew ophthalmologists were expensive, but this is ridiculous.
Plus, when a city spends that much moolah to get its eyes fixed, you’d hope it ends up with at least 2020 vision.
Pinball wizards: Lastly, we extend a handshake of good will to everyone coming to the Tacoma Convention Center this weekend for the 2014 Northwest Pinball & Arcade Show.
Then we’ll promptly wash that hand with antibacterial cleanser.
In related news, a recent survey showed that 98 percent of arcade athletes think they look sexy while playing pinball.Got news for The Nose? Write to TheNose@thenewstribune.com. @thenosetribune