Mark Ruffalo and Adrien Brody play swindling siblings in this affected, emo caper movie. Their mark is Rachael Weisz, a madcap heiress living alone in poor-little-rich-girl splendor.

Their plan is to whisk her away on a kooky adventure that will give her the illusion of participating in a smuggling operation while separating her from a large chunk of her inheritance. Then love rears its pretty head, Brody suffers a paralyzing conscience attack and the carefully prepared triple-crosses snarl like tangled shoelaces.

Writer/director Rian Johnson’s movie is a throwback to mod, madcap conman movies of the – where am I? I fell asleep typing. The leads have zero comedic skills, but you can tell they’re being funny because they all wear sarcastic hats. The plotting aims to play on our expectations from films like “The Sting,” but the references just remind us of other, more interesting movies.

Robbie Coltrane lumbers through a few scenes as a character whose entire comic identity comes from the fact that he’s Belgian. Rinko Kikucho is essentially a dress extra as the brothers’ silent henchwoman Bang Bang, “an artist with nitroglycerine.” Isn’t that quirky?

From the opening chapter – narrated in rhymed verse – you watch shaking your head, wondering how a hairball like this made it past the producers’ quality filters.

THE BROTHERS BLOOM

*

Director: Rian Johnson

CAST: Mark Ruffalo, Adrien Brody, Rachael Weisz

time: 1:53

Rating: PG-13; violence, some sensuality and brief strong language

Where: Grand Cinema, 606 S. Fawcett Ave., Tacoma; showtimes, pages 14-15