Senate Bill 5116, which has already been approved by the Senate Committee on Government Operations, would settle the whole state nickname issue once and for all.

According to the bill, our official nickname will be “The Evergreen State.” The committee even deliberated on punctuation and decided the use of capital letters would be best.

I’ll resist the temptation to make fun of such a seemingly inconsequential bill when the engine of our economy has just flown through a flock of seagulls. I’d rather lawmakers spend time on stuff like this while waiting for the next revenue forecast than on bills that might do real damage.

It’s just that I thought The Evergreen State was already our slogan. It’s on all the license plates. Just because it has never been so-designated by the Legislature doesn’t mean it isn’t official. What is The Evergreen State College all about then?

Common knowledge should trump officialdom. But if the Legislature really wanted to debate the issue, perhaps it should have opened it up for alternatives.

According to the bill report, the nickname was dreamed up by one Charles Tallmadge Conover, a Seattle real estate man. Conover also was a leading proponent of retaining the name Mount Rainier, apparently preferring to honor a man who fought against our brave soldiers in the Revolutionary War. If he were alive today he’d probably be pushing for Mount Saddam.

So Conover, who sounds kind of British, lacks credibility. And, as our friends in Eastern Washington know, The Evergreen State is very Western Washington oriented. Nicknames should unite, not divide. They should inspire, not bore.

Take Oregon’s nickname: “The Beaver State.” OK, bad idea. But in our 120th year, perhaps a reconsideration is in order:

 • The Layoff State.

 • Buddy, Can You Spare Six Billion Dollars?

 • The Ever-in-the-Red State.

 • Our Economy Is So Dead, it’s Shovel-Ready.

 • Billionaires Need Handouts Too.

 • At Least We Don’t Have To Worry About Sprawl.

 • Washington: Where a buck will get you a half-cup of coffee.

 • Our Economy is Micro and Soft.

 • Four Years Without a Recount.

 • Our Voting is Rank, I Mean Ranked.

 • Chicks Rule. Men Concede.

 • Washington Never Slept Here, But Obama Did.

 • Casinos, Large and Mini.

 • Washington: It’s In The Cards.

 • Our Coaches Make More Than Your Coaches.

 • We’re Defensive About Our Defensive Coaches.

 • We Can Only Dream About The Dreamliner.

 • Boeing Slept Here.

 • Land of a Hundred Superfund Sites.

 • Divided By a Common Mountain Range.

 • The Evergreen State – Until You Hit Ellensburg.

 • Say WA-MU?

 • Say What The Hell.

 • Compared To Our Sports Teams, We’re All Winners.

 • Gateway to the Winter Olympics.

 • Washington: Where Waiting to Cross the Border is an Endurance Sport.

 • Honk If You’re Not in Foreclosure.

 • Washington: Price Reduced.

 • NOT The Home of the Oklahoma Thunder.

 • We Waffle on WASL.

 • Land of a Thousand WASL Alternative Exams.

 • Washington: You Get Five Chances At Success.

 • Be Safe. Drive Hands Free.

 • Create Green Jobs. Pay in Cash.

 • Our Universities Have Open Minds and Closed Doors.

Peter Callaghan: 253-597-8657

peter.callaghan@thenewstribune.com

blogs.thenewstribune.com/politics