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Thankful politicos would make for interesting conversation at holiday feast

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Published: 11/26/0912:05 am | Updated: 11/27/09 9:36 am
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To commemorate our national day of Thanksgiving, let’s join our many public officials and friends around the table to hear what causes them to give thanks in 2009.

Gov. Chris Gregoire: “I appreciate you all coming today. I am thankful for President Obama and the federal stimulus money he sent us this past year. And I would be very happy next year to be thankful for MORE federal stimulus money.”

House Speaker Frank Chopp: “I am thankful I still have 61 members and for the fact that more of them weren’t on the ballot this election.”

Senate Majority Leader Lisa Brown: “I have 1,003,943 reasons to be thankful – the number of state voters who said no on Initiative 1033.”

Initiative guy Tim Eyman: “I’m thankful for Mike Dunmire for being my sugar daddy and being willing to bankroll an initiative that received 42 percent of the vote.”

Gregoire: “Hey, I forgot the unions and Microsoft, who helped raise 10 times more money than Eyman did. Thank you guys.”

State Labor Council president Rick Bender: “Thanks Gov. We’re thankful that finally one of the Democrats we help even says hello once the election is over.”

State chief economist Arun Raha: “I’m thankful that our state’s politicians don’t hold me personally responsible for all of those bad revenue forecasts that force them to cut budgets and consider taxes. You don’t hold it against me, do you guys? Do you?”

State schools Superintendent Randy Dorn: “I can’t say enough about all of those students who are thanking me for trying to delay again the need to know math and science. That should put us in good position to win the federal government’s Race to the Flop competition.”

State Board of Education Chairwoman Mary Jean Ryan: “I’m thankful that Randy Dorn doesn’t have the power to punt – yet again – on setting high standards. I’m equally thankful that those with the power to decide this issue disagree with Dorn.”

Boeing: “We here on the board in Chicago will always be thankful for this great nation with 50 sovereign states, each willing to throw taxpayer cash at us to win the next assembly plant. Capitalism is fabulous.”

Washington Education Association President Mary Lindquist: “I’m thankful for all of those federal stimulus dollars too, governor. They kept most of our members from being laid off. And I’m thankful that Randy Dorn finally did something for us to be thankful for.”

State Republican chairman Luke Esser: “I’m thankful for budget deficits and Democratic talk of tax increases. I’m also thankful that next year’s election will not include King County executive because I could have run Abe Lincoln there and still not won.”

State Democratic chairman Dwight Pelz: “We’re thankful that Abe Lincoln decided not to run for King County executive, even though, if he were still alive, he’d probably be a Democrat.”

Pierce County Auditor Julie Anderson: “I’m thankful to be taking over the elections in the county with the lowest voter turnout in the state because I have nowhere to go but up.”

Russell Investments: “We here on the board in Milwaukee would like to thank Tacoma and Seattle for opening their hearts and their treasuries to us. We are indeed touched. We only wish there had been a way to accept both cities’ payoff for placing our global headquarters in their downtowns. Maybe next time.”

U.S. Sen. Patty Murray: “We’re less than a year from the 2010 election and the R’s have yet to find someone to run against me, at least not a candidate who anyone’s heard of. So what’s not to be thankful for?”

Huskies football coach Steve Sarkisian: “Three-letters: USC. Without them, Husky fans would be looking back at Ty Willingham’s tenure as The Glory Years.”

Cougars football coach Paul Wulff: “I’m thankful it’s basketball season.”

U.S. Rep. Norm Dicks: “I have done nothing wrong. I did NOT take the last drumstick.”

Peter Callaghan: 253-597-8657

peter.callaghan@thenewstribune.com

blog.thenewstribune.com/politics

 

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