Important questions nobody has asked me yet (the Adopt-a-Dog Month edition):
Q: What’s the best bad excuse you’ve ever used to avoid exercise?
A: For nearly a month this summer, my workouts were haunted by Mephistophe-fleas.
That’s the nickname I gave an 11-pound bichon fries rescue dog we adopted in August.
Her real name was Twinkie and she hated me. She stalked me around the house waiting for the perfect moment to attack.
It’s almost as if she could hear my knees creak from the other side of the house whenever I dropped to the floor to stretch or do pushups. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her slowly trying to sneak up on me, inching closer and closer until she’d attack.
And not just sometimes — every time I tried to exercise in the house. Once I had a massage therapist over, and thought I was safe atop the massage table. My wife had to restrain the precious little demon spawn as she growled and tried to go after the therapist.
So instead of hitting the floor for a little bonus exercise at night, I vegged on the couch.
The funny thing about dogs, however, is that no matter how much she hated me, I still found myself getting attached to her. Once literally. She got ahold of my left hand leaving me with eight bite marks and on antibiotics for a week.
It’s awful to think about what happened to this little pup to make her this angry or scared or both. So even though she seemed to love everybody else in the house, when she started attacking visitors we decided it was time to find her a new home.
An old one actually. The foster family she came from, a family in Ohio that had fallen in love with her, agreed to take her back and adopt her permanently.
So we begrudgingly bought Mephistophe-fleas a one-way ticket to Cleveland. And it seems everybody is happy. Twinkie has a home where she’s not scared. (She’s keeping in touch with my wife via Facebook.) And I no longer have an excuse for not stretching on the living room floor.
Well, unless you count Largent, our new rescue dog. He interrupts my stretching by tapping me on the arm with his paw. I’m not sure if he’s trying to tell me my time would be better spent petting him or if he just wants to let me know my downward dog looks pathetic.
Q: Speaking of K-9s, is it true mud runs are going to the dogs?
A: I had the good fortune of sneaking into the final Cottage Lake Triathlon in Woodinville in September. (And, yes, I actually finished.)
This short, flat triathlon earned a reputation over the years for being ideal for beginners. But Mary Meyer, the race organizer, announced before the starting gun that she was ending the Cottage Lake Triathlon in favor of a new event that combines her passions for fitness and dogs.
On May 2, Mary Meyer Life Fitness will stage the Muddy Mutt run in Snohomish. This is a 1.25-mile mud run (or walk) you can do with your dog. She’ll hold the race again on Sept. 12, 2015. For more information on the races, visit muddymuttevent.com.
But that’s next year. What’s a good South Sound event this year for me and my best friend?
Most of the good ones — like August’s “Run Like a Dog” benefiting the Thurston County Humane Society — are done of the year. But you and Fido might want to circle Dec. 13 on your calendar.
That’s the date for Santa Runs Tacoma. The event has 1-, 5- and 10-kilometer races, and a half marathon. Race organizers, the Tacoma City Marathon Association, allows dogs in this race. They just ask that you let the other runners start first.
The race benefits the Humane Society of Tacoma and Pierce County. Runners are also encouraged to bring donations for the FISH Food Banks of Pierce County.
Santa Runs Tacoma is the final event in the marathon association’s new Crown of the Sound series. This series awards a special medal for anybody who can finish four of the six half marathons it held in Tacoma this year. And those who were fastest — both overall and in age groups — will receive ribbons. Organizers will distribute medals at Fleet Feet Running in January.