Q: What was that big dust-up over the music Democrats used in a video about Dino Rossi? Apparently a lot of people took offense.

A: Remember, modern American politics is all about taking offense. Most days it is about little else. In this case, Democratic filmmakers used the theme music from the cable TV show “The Sopranos” behind a video that cast aspersions on Rossi’s integrity. Since the TV show is based on Italian American gangsters in New Jersey, it was thought to be a less-than-subtle attempt to link Rossi with the mob.

Q: And he took offense to that?

A: Actually, it triggered an angry response from the Mafia whose members did not appreciate being linked to politicians of either party. Their spokesman, Tom Hagen, called the linkage unfair because while both groups hit up people and businesses for money, at least the gangsters perform a service in return.

Q: Right, sorry I asked. Speaking of taking offense, why were people so upset that the state Lottery was marketing games with candy wrapper themes? Some said it was an attempt to hook kids on gambling but adults like candy, too, don’t they?

A: The Lottery is under a lot of pressure to increase sales so state lawmakers can spend more money without raising taxes. And the Lottery keeps saying it uses its proceeds for education and school buildings, so why not make the little freeloaders chip in?

Q: That’s not exactly what I meant. You have to be at least 18 to buy lottery tickets, so isn’t that enough to keep them from gambling?

A: Age limits work so well with beer and cigarettes, don’t they? Perhaps we should just let kids gamble and really go after them. I see a Dora the Explorer tie-in and a cross promotion with PlayStation. If that works out, we’re thinking of bringing back Joe Camel.

How about this for a slogan: “Sin taxes: They’re not just for grown-ups anymore.”

Q: You’re joking, right?

A: The state is facing a $2.7 billion deficit, remember.

Q: Moving on. I read that a pollster in Seattle named Stu Elway asked voters if they knew which party was symbolized by the acronym GOP and 25 percent didn’t know it meant Republican. Why did he ask such a question?

A: The above-mentioned Rossi filed for office saying his party preference was “G.O.P.” Some thought he was hiding his allegiance to the Republican Party because the party might be unpopular this election.

Q: Who would object to that? The liberal wing of the Democratic Party?

A: No, the FOX News wing of the Republican Party. But at least Rossi used a party name that most people understand as Republican. A guy from Spokane filed for state insurance commissioner and listed “no party preference.”

Q: So what. A lot of people in Washington state don’t have a party preference.

A: He’s the Spokane County Republican chairman.

Q: Oh, yeah. That’s bad. I read in the paper that Starbucks is closing 600 shops in the U.S., leaving just 6,657 stores. What should I do if they close my favorite Starbucks?

A: Go across the street to the next Starbucks.

Q: Big funny, but this is serious. I can’t live without my Starbucks.

A: These closures are just what all the yuppies and yuppies-in-training need to realize. There are hundreds of great local coffee shops serving drinks that are as good if not better than Starbucks. Remember, the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem.

Q: Help me, man. I’m sick.

A: You’ve come to the right place.

Peter Callaghan: 253-597-8657

peter.callaghan@thenewstribune.com

blogs.thenewstribune.com/politics