Bonus points if you still have the pole it was attached to.

Not that we’d ever encourage such behavior.

But an anonymous commuter from Puyallup wrote in with an observation suggesting that street-sign trophy collection is alive and well:

“I drive to work using Pioneer Way E from Puyallup every morning. More times than I can begin to count, as soon as the street name sign at ‘Gay Road’ is put back up on the wood signpost at Pioneer Way, it only lasts a day or two before it is stolen again.”

He/she offers that perhaps the county should go with “Alternate Route” instead of “Gay Road” to cut down on replacement costs.

The writer also poses the question: Is this the most popular stolen road sign in Pierce County?

A fine question, our dear anonymous Watson.

Pierce County Public Works Director Brian Ziegler got back to us with the answer jiffy quick.

Our tipster came close, but no cigar: Gay Road is only the second-most-swindled sign. It’s been spirited away 138 times since the county started keeping track in 1994.

By comparison, the third most popular sign has gone AWOL only half as many times. It is any street marker bearing the number 69 – no doubt a tribute to the year of man’s first walk on the moon.

The No. 1 booty for sign pirates in Pierce County? That time-tested dorm room souvenir, the stop sign. Thieves have made off with 1,647 of ’em in the last 13 years, Ziegler says.

With so much unimpeded roadway, you’d think our commutes would be getting shorter.

Lakewood, as it turns out, enjoys the distinction of an oft-stolen sign that the rest of the county doesn’t have.

In most places a “speed bump” sign alerts drivers to slow down. Lakewood goes with a slight variation: “speed hump.” Abracadabra, these signs have disappeared 33 times in the last three years, Ziegler says.

The county, which handles public works duties for the city, has advised switching to “bump,” but Lakewood is sticking with “hump” for now.

Surprisingly cheeky for a city that ditched a public sculpture because of a slight anatomical resemblance.

Even with the Mariners’ later-than-usual late-season swoon, it’s refreshing to hear Ichiro’s honesty about whether he cares about the league batting title: “I’m half aware of it all the time … Not everyone has this chance, and I like mine. It’s the chance to impress my fans.”

There’s no I in team, but there are two I’s in Ichiro.

So County Councilman Terry Lee is out of the race for county executive and will run for assessor-treasurer, against fellow Councilwoman Barbara Gelman, who would be seeking her second stint as county tax collector after completing her second stint on the council. And Councilmen Shawn Bunney and Calvin Goings are vying for executive, perhaps to be joined by Auditor Pat McCarthy.

To heck with all that confusing instant runoff voting business.

Since the county is just playing musical chairs, what it needs is a Kenner Close ’n’ Play.

Pity Tacoma’s port commissioners.

After years tinkering with the parts of Pierce County’s “economic engine” in near total obscurity, it’s hard to blame them if they’re flummoxed by all the sudden attention. Imagine their shock when port watchers began pushing for televised meetings.

Is the world ready for this?

The commishes don’t think so. It would cost a bunch of money, they said. Residents might turn into camera hogs, they said. It would be too boring, they said – although, we note, this never stopped the City of Fife.

The only thing left to do is cue the Dire Straits music: “I want my … I want my … I want my Port TV.”