When Angela Harrison got the call Saturday morning saying her husband had killed himself, she had one question.

"Where are my kids?" she asked.

She soon knew the answer - her husband had killed the couple's five children in their Graham-area home, and then himself.

Harrison, 30, who spoke publicly about the killings for the first time Monday, confirmed that she'd told her husband, James, she was leaving him, but denied it was for another man.

"I wasn't having an affair," she said. "I had a friend who showed me it's not OK for me to be treated the way I was being treated."

Pierce County Sheriff's investigators said Sunday their investigation indicates James Harrison, 34, killed his children after learning his wife was leaving him. Officers continued Monday to seek answers in the deaths of the Harrison children.

Four of them - Maxine, 16; Samantha, 12; Heather, 9; and James, 7 - were found dead in their bedrooms in the home, located in the 20400 block of 135th Avenue Court East. The fifth child - 14-year-old Jayme - was found in the bathroom, where there were signs of a violent struggle, sheriff's spokesman Ed Troyer said.

Frantic calls

On Saturday morning, after police told Angela that her husband had killed himself, she said she started calling everyone she knew. Nothing. No one had seen the kids. Then, it hit her. She knew in her heart what had happened, even before officers made their terrible discovery.

"I knew my kids were at home, and that he hurt my kids," she said.

Hours after Angela's husband found her with another man Friday, friends came to the house and spoke with him about what happened. They said he seemed OK when they left at about 10:30 p.m. that night. But sometime later, after he'd tucked the children into bed, he apparently made the decision to kill them.

Hours later, after searching for his wife, James killed himself near the Muckleshoot Casino in Auburn. His body was found at about 8 a.m. Saturday.

When officers told Angela Harrison what had happened to her children, she lost control.

"I fought the cop, I wanted him to shoot me," she said. "I wanted to die like my kids."

At that moment, a relative came and prayed with her. They prayed for the children, and Angela said she realized she still has a life to live. She will live it in their memory, she said.

A realization

The man James found Angela with wasn't a boyfriend, she said. She wasn't having an affair, she insisted, but the man had helped her decide to make a change.

James was controlling for their entire marriage. She couldn't do anything without his permission, she said, and he would hit her.

"I feared him," she said.

So she befriended a co-worker, and the two shared their problems. Angela began to tell her friend more about her rocky relationship with her husband, how she couldn't go out with friends, couldn't go to the grocery store without him yelling at her. Even how she never got an "I love you" from her husband, she said.

"Twenty years I've known him, but I never really knew him," she said.

So she decided to end the relationship. She told the kids two months ago about a possible divorce, but they objected. But on Friday, at the Auburn convenience store, she told James it was over.

"I finally put my foot down and stood up for myself," she said. "I knew he would hurt me, but I didn't think he would hurt my kids."

Hours later, he would be the perpetrator one of the worst mass killings in the history of Pierce County, with his own children as the victims.

The kids

Each of the children had different interests, but their brains and energy would always amaze their mother.

Angela's face would light up with each story about her children. How Maxine was beyond obsessed with the "Twilight" novels and movies.

Jayme and Samantha were the tech-savvy twosome. Samantha would help Angela with the family's computers. Jayme would help out, too, when she wasn't playing with her PlayStation Portable video games.

Heather wanted to be like her oldest sister. She would read, and try to take care of the family as well.

"She was the little short, short mom," Angela said.

James was an adrenaline junkie. He had a mini-ATV he began to ride at just 4. Family and friends joke about how he would do crazy things, if only you could get him out of bed in the morning.

"They had so much going for them," Angela said.

All that's left inside the home are memories and reminders. Angela is keeping most of the children's belongings, but there are three things she doesn't know what to do with. The kids had three cats - Taz, Spice and Ginger - that they loved, but Angela doesn't think she can keep them.

Like her, they need a new home.

Something to live for

The prayer at the scene of the shooting gave Angela a purpose. She believes her husband went looking for her to kill her. But she remains alive, and now wants to dedicate her life to the memory of her children.

"I have to live for my kids," she said. "That's why I'm here, why I'm strong."

She already had a tattoo on her left leg with the children's names, and since it happened, she added, "In loving memory."

She is staying with her parents and taking each day as it comes.

"They've been my whole life," she said. "They're all I've ever known and now they're gone."

Her husband controlled every aspect of her and her children's lives, Angela said. He even ended them on his terms. So now she will live for her kids in the way they would have wanted.

"I will just live my life to the fullest for my kids," she said. "Just live. Be free. Just like they would have wanted to be." - - -

Brian Everstine: 253-597-8374