Nothing beats the vanity bouquet that wafts over campaign season. We just checked the leading indicators and found proof: The Sniffbox is overflowing with self-congratulatory “news” releases from U.S. Sen. Patty Murray’s campaign (oh, sorry — from her taxpayer-funded office).
Thursday’s tally included no less than five releases in five hours, a significant uptick from the standard SPBS (self-pats on back per second) flow rate. Suggestion for next release: “Murray to constituents: Stop loving me.”
But enough about Murray (umph … peels Murray away, ignoring her protests … ) Let’s slide a few links down the political food chain and go local. Here’s Pierce County’s own Dan Roach — a mere county councilman now, he hopes to seize the Iron Throne of Pierce County Executive this November.
Let’s slide a few links down the political food chain and go local. Here’s Pierce County’s own Dan Roach — a mere county councilman now, he hopes to seize the Iron Throne of Pierce County Executive this November.
Never miss a local story.
The Sniff spotted Roach’s first campaign ad this week while trying to surf past the 24/7 Trump News Network. The ad features a slightly soft-focus image of Roach, seemingly smiling at the stylings of a cartoon-voiced narrator. Pop-artsy graphics list Roach’s accomplishments, including his efforts to sponsor “legistlation,” apparently a brand-new word invented for the campaign.
Hmm … this calls for some old-school investigative research. Clicking … clicking … aha! It seems Dan’s ad was created by EZTVSpots, a venerable campaign firm based in Kent, with a roster of illustrious clients that includes two pawn shops and a go-kart supply store. A quick check of state campaign finance records reveals that Dan’s backers paid a cool $4,200 for the ad.
On their homepage, the folks at EZ explain that their smorgasbord of services includes something called “editing.” Shoot, the Sniff can do that, too, even make a career out of it, if the packed schedule of paid speeches and corporate shindigs ever slows down. We’ll even throw in voice-over narration, if you don’t mind a nasal delivery. As for spotting errors, that’s what we call (dramatic pause) easy.
It seems Dan’s ad was created by EZTVSpots, a venerable campaign firm based in Kent, with a roster of illustrious clients that includes two pawn shops and a go-kart supply store.
Scrambling the bracket: Get ready for area-code rivalry realignment. The 564 is coming. The announcement came from the North American Numbering Plan Administrator, possibly the greatest job no one knew existed, centered in the far-off land of Digitopolis.
The new area code will be available to all of Western Washington in years to come, which promises to screw up longstanding grudges. The 206ers up north, as well as the snooty 425ers, have always looked down on the shabby denizens of the 253.
Even Wikipedia reinforces the stereotype. Your Fishwrap’s Derrick Nunnally exposed the snarky reference, which states, “The 253 area code is associated with relatively less affluent suburbs like Tacoma, so some view it as being less prestigious.” The microaggressions never end.
Respect AND charm: Fortunately, no amount of area-code bias can erase a recent article in The Seattle Times that led with this sentence: “Shangri-La exists, and it’s in Tacoma.” Ahhh … now that’s respect.
Take a guess which location the travel writer was describing. Did you pick the General Metals scrap heap on the Tideflats? The downtown Washington Building and its occasionally functional elevators? The Tacoma landfill on South Mullen Street? Wrong!
Take a guess which location the travel writer was describing. Did you pick the General Metals scrap heap on the Tideflats? The downtown Washington Building and its occasionally functional elevators? The Tacoma landfill on South Mullen Street? Wrong! In fact, the location was Point Defiance Park (OK, OK — we’ve been there, and it’s purty.)
Better yet, consider this week’s listicle from a random organization, backed (as always) by scientific measurements. Tacoma scored as the ninth-most charming midsized city in the nation. Seattle didn’t even make the Top 20, not that anyone would ever call The Emerald City “charming.” (We have an assortment of other adjectives we deploy from time to time.)
Within T-town’s glorious new ranking, compiled by yet another anonymous apartment-rental algorithm website, individual neighborhoods get something called a Peak Charm Score. The city’s St. Helens district snagged the top rating, with a score of 89.
Shoot, those are James Bond-level numbers on the charm scale. Still, we’re not sure Tacomans are ready to doff the grit. Let’s form a task force and think about it.