Two officers drove to a store in the 9400 block of Pacific Avenue and parked out of sight. They edged toward the store window, looked inside, and saw a man holding a quart of moo juice.
The man was 27. He was already drenched in milky residue. He held the quart over his head and emptied it. He yelled at the watching clerk, threw the empty container down, walked to the cooler, grabbed another quart and poured again, walking down the aisle.
The officers moved into the store. The man spotted them.
They ordered him to drop the milk.
The man refused. He yelled, and said he’d been “bear-maced.” Officers moved forward and cuffed him.
The man kept yelling that he’d been “maced” as officers took him to the patrol car. They called for medical aid. They asked the man who had maced him, who had assaulted him — but the man gave no clear answer.
Finally, he said Satan had bear-maced him.
Officers spoke to the store clerk, who said the man had walked to the cooler and emptied quart after quart over his head — six in all. The clerk told him to stop, but the man yelled at him and other customers.
Officers checked the man’s records. They found a prior misdemeanor warrant. They told the man he was under arrest for that and for taking the milk without paying. Officers booked him into the Fife City Jail on the warrant and suspicion of misdemeanor theft.
The driver was 18. The minibike was tiny: green with orange trim, about 2 feet high, not street-legal. The driver was stopped at the intersection of South 92nd Street and South Hosmer Street when the officer saw him.
The driver spotted the cop and bolted, zipping down the middle of the road. He kept looking back at the officer, who blared a horn blast. The driver kept going.
He barely avoided a collision with a car backing out of a driveway. He curled past a man walking a child through a crosswalk, and he swerved to avoid another oncoming car.
The officer flicked on lights and sirens. The chase went on for three blocks before the driver pulled over.
The officer cuffed the man and told him he was under arrest.
“I didn’t know what you wanted,” the driver said. He said he was trying to get to his home nearby. He said he didn’t think he was endangering himself.
The officer booked him into the Fife City Jail on suspicion of reckless driving.
He wore a black beanie, a white shirt and khaki shorts. Periodically, he rolled in the grass, stood up, walked to the fountain and talked to the children. He tried to talk to their mother, who tried to avoid him.
Bystanders saw the man punch a tree and come back. They spoke to him and told him to go away. The man confronted one of them and tried to pick a fight.
Officers drove to the park at 801 N. Mason Ave. They spoke to the man. He was 23, and he said he hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d tried to “pick up” a woman, he said, and then “some dude” got in his face.
Officers asked if the man had spoken to any children. The man started screaming that officers were accusing him of being a predator. He called them fascists and said he had a right to walk in the park, that he didn’t have to talk to police.
The man left the park after officers told him to calm down. He walked toward a nearby drugstore and stayed in the parking lot for a while before jaywalking back into the park.
Officers approached hm again and asked him for his name. The man refused to give it. Officers said he could be arrested for obstructing if he refused to identify himself, and warned him three more times. The man refused each time, saying he knew his rights.
Officers told the man he was under arrest. They frisked him, found his wallet and ran a records check. It came back clear, but he had multiple trespassing citations tied to other areas of the city.
Officers told the man he was banned from city parks for three months. They booked him into the Fife City Jail on suspicion of obstructing a police officer.