SEVERAL TWITS . . . So, did you catch the latest Levi Johnston drama? (His trash is actually more fun than Sarah's these days). Apparently Conan O'Brien and a guest zapped Levi on the air the other night over comments allegedly made on Levi's Twitter account, stuff like asking how to find drugs, etc.

Only problem, Levi doesn't have a Twitter account. The Tweets were bogus. Anchorage attorney and Levi's agent Rex Butler said he was "talking" to those involved at Twitter and NBC. But by Friday Conan apologized -- sarcastically -- and Levi issued an "apology accepted." Ear is so relieved another celebrity emergency has been averted.

Several other media outlets caught the Twitter blurbs, but called to check and found out they were phony, Rex said. Given that everyone knows how easy it is to create fake Tweets, it was kind of a lame mistake.

Not as lame, however, as Ear made last week, crediting a Channel 11 reporter with asking Lisa Murkowski to pronounce and spell her name. It was actually a Channel 2 reporter, which is stated right on the tape Ear referred you to. FYI, the technical term for this kind of screw-up is "brain fart." Sorry.

A QUESTION . . . Was Ear the only appendage who laughed out loud when Assemblyman Bill Starr called Assemblywoman Sheila Selkregg's budget amendments "solidly entrenched in the communist planks," according to a KTUU report.

Communist? What is this guy, 102 years old? News flash! Communists aren't the boogeyman in the cellar anymore. If Starr was reaching for a mindless pejorative, the current list includes Arab, Obama-lover, China and the Swine Flu. Really, darling, half your constituents don't even know what a "communist" is.

ASHAMED APPENDAGE . . . Ear couldn't help it. There were so many familiar Alaska names in the index, The Luscious Lobe had to buy a copy of the newest book about She Who Was, "Sarah from Alaska." Authors Scott Conroy and Shushannah Walshe are TV reporters or producers who seem to have made a genuine effort to answer the question Alaskans still ask about the whole Sarah adventure:

"Huh?"

The book is a pleasant relief from all those pro- and anti-screeds Ear is so tired of. Maybe a little heavy on high school basketball but oh well.

The description of Sarah and her family on election night -- as they get tossed away by campaign pros who have finished using them -- is strangely poignant.

UPHILL RACE. . . One of the finalists at the Banff Mountain Film Festival this weekend is a movie called "Signatures," about the ski culture in Japan, produced by a 23-year-old Service High graduate named Ben Sturgulewski, and yes, he is Arliss' grandson. Frank Murkowski's, too.

Ear wishes him well, but unfortunately he's up against a film by Richard Gere featuring the Dalai Lama. Lucky for us, the "Signatures" production company is hoping for a local showing sometime before the end of the year.

NEAR DISASTER . . . For a while Wednesday, Lite Gov candidate Rep. Jay Ramas thought he had lost the use of his hand-shaking hand. While shooting yet another commercial for his hotel (right, for the hotel), he slipped on the ice ("It's winter in Fairbanks") and hurt his hand. It was so painful, he thought it was broken. Turns out he badly bruised the bone. He'll be able to shake hands again in a few days. And the commercial turned out well, he said.

Any bets on who will be prominently featured in the ad? A candidate for office, perhaps?

DARK HORSE? . . . And, speaking of candidates, rumors persist that former legislator Ralph Samuels plans to announce for governor. The closer it gets to the end of the year, the less likely it seems. The rumors may be wishful thinking on the part of his supporters.

FLYING FACTOID . . . Dan Sullivan, the squarest mayor to hold that office since, umm, George Wuerch, is doing promos for local radio's hip central, KNBA. An earwig reports he says, "KNBA. My music. My public radio."

Is it wrong of Ear to doubt he really means this?

A QUESTION . . . Is Larry Persily really being considered as the replacement for Drue Pearce in the federal gas line job? The rumor mill is grinding.

OUT AND ABOUT . . . Bill Sheffield is hosting a fundraiser Wednesday for the above-mentioned Jay Ramras and, no surprise, the invitation is way over the top: red, white and blue, "god bless our veterans," "drill baby drill," "bullet line gas now." Yikes!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK . . . Heeees back! In a press release Thursday about support for the Juneau road, Don Young, Congressman for All Alaskans who Voted for Him, offered us an amazing concept:

"Getting this road done will be the first leg of the Juneau Access Improvements Project, an invaluable road system for Juneau that will improve access, cut down on traffic, and reduce costs."

Hmmm. So building a road where no road exists will "cut down on traffic?"

A bemused Skagway earwig noted a DOT study projects more than 10 times the traffic on a new road than currently uses the ferries.

Compiled by Sheila Toomey. Contact Sheila at ear@adn.com. Find Ear online at adn.com/ear.