On the occasion of a noteworthy birthday, we wish many happy returns to Tacoma City Club. Its members recently partied like it’s 1969 with an evening of Beatles songs. Except the titles and lyrics were recast to poke gentle fun at current events in the City of Destiny.

The classic “Yellow Submarine,” for example, was changed so that the clubbers – well oiled by several rounds of drinks – could join in the jaunty chorus:

“We all live in the empty Esplanade

The empty Esplanade, the empty Esplanade.”

Clever stuff, all around.

But the whimsy seemed about 15 years out of whack.

Despite the retro-hippy-chic tribute, the group isn’t as old as its Beatlemania would lead you to believe.

This year marks City Club’s 25th birthday. So what say they trade in their love beads and sitars for Members Only jackets, Dippity Doo hair gel and a Duran Duran lip-synch band?

Since you didn’t ask: Here are some mashed-up songs, circa 1984, they should have sung at City Club’s birthday bash.

 • “Billy B,” a farewell ballad for Mayor Bill Baarsma. (To the tune of Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean.”)

 • “When Govs Lie,” a catchy number about local governments known to stretch or hide the truth. (Tune: “When Doves Cry” by Prince.”)

 • “Stuck on U-Dub-T,” in honor of the beloved but land-grabbing branch campus. (Tune: “Stuck on You” by Lionel Ritchie.)

 • “Come-a-Come-a Come Down Luzon,” the refrain sung by City Manager Eric Anderson in the days before the landmark was demolished. (Tune: “Karma Chameleon” by Culture Club.)

 • “All Night Lonergan,” because Councilman Mikey L already sits in on some long meetings, and candidate-son Joey wants to join him. (Tune: “All Night Long,” also by Lionel Ritchie.)

 • “Emerald Queen,” a smoky torch song for one of our top private employers. (Tune: “Carribean Queen” by Billy Ocean.)

 • “Every Meth You Bake,” an ode to another of Tacoma’s top recession-proof products. (Tune: “Every Breath You Take” by The Police.)

Lights, Camera, T-Town!: If you run into any cinema snobs from Europe driving shiny Volkswagens around town, there might be a reason.

Tacoma got star billing in a two-page VW ad that appeared this summer in a slick movie industry supplement in London’s venerable newspaper, The Observer.

The ad maps out a romantic Yankee film-location road trip that tourists can take, presumably best enjoyed in a new Jetta or Beetle.

Of the eight stops on the road trip, guess who’s No. 1? Ahead of such movie meccas as San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York and, um, Detroit?

That’d be us. Specifically, the map shows the smokestack-spewing profile of the Simpson Tacoma Kraft mill, where scenes from a popular 1982 flick were filmed.

“It’s where a military gentleman could sweep a girl off her feet,” the ad gushes.

Thanks to Michael Reynolds of Tacoma for sending in a copy to Schnozz central, and for providing this zinger: “Our neighbors to the north can go sleepless in Seattle for many, many nights of jealous angst.”

Amen, brother Mike.

But someone got overlooked : The film ad does make us feel a bit undeserving. The city where most of “An Officer and a Gentleman” was shot got stiffed by the advertisers.

Poor Port Townsend. First the Northern Pacific Railroad passed it over for Tacoma. Now this.

Selective hearing: Expect all kinds of trickery in these waning days of the 2009 election. And while a fund-raising appeal sent out this week on behalf of Tacoma mayor candidate Marilyn Strickland is hardly the worst case we’ll see, it still caught our eye.

Local Realtor George Pilant sent an invite for a Strickland reception, in which he quotes selectively from a Trib election endorsement.

“Strickland is eminently qualified to be Mayor of Tacoma. She is quick on her feet, dynamic and public-spirited... She exudes competence, intelligence and decency. She’d make a fine mayor for Tacoma.” (TNT 10/11/2009)

What Pilant forgets to say is that Trib opinionators actually endorsed Strickland’s foe, Jim “Post-and-Beam” Merritt.

To be fair, though, we went back and read the endorsement, and gotta admit there’s room for confusion.

All we know for sure is that the ed board probably doesn’t like Dale Washam or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for mayor.

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