The News Tribune (Lite) - Which is louder, the yeti’s howl or a lahar siren?

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Which is louder, the yeti’s howl or a lahar siren?

THE NEWS TRIBUNE
Puyallup whippersnappers have good reason to be proud of their new Glacier View Junior High, with its spiffy million-dollar vista of Mount Rainier.

The school stuck with the mountain theme for its team name. “This is Avalanche Country” proclaims the mural in the gym. In the lahar zone, of course, those words double as both cheer and public service alert.

But the thing that really caught our attention was the mascot.

The yeti. An abominable choice.

The mythical beast is known to prowl the Himalayas. Why not go with the real deal, Bigfoot, who’s been sighted many times around our mountain?

And we hope there won’t be a trademark infringement suit filed by the Quebec Rafales, a minor league hockey team. Their yeti, like Puyallup’s, is apparently blessed with superhuman balance.

The yeti will never attain the dignity of our favorite school mascot: the Stuyvesant (N.Y.) High Peglegs.

To say nothing of a certain Tacoma high school that features the giant decapitated head of the 16th U.S. president dancing on the sidelines.

But we like yetis, yes we do. We even know the recipe for a cheap mascot costume.

Buy the old Sonics Squatch outfit on eBay. Pour a few cups of bleach. Mix and stir. Voila, yeti on a budget.

Rejected mascot for Glacier View Junior High: A pirate who leads crowds in chants of “laha-ARRRGH!”

And speaking of new schools: For adolescents burning up with hormones, there’s something to like about Pioneer Middle School in DuPont.

On a recent tour, Art Himmler, superintendent of the Steilacoom Historical School District, pointed out a nook in the second-floor library. The sign on the wall says “quiet reading.”

Himmler quipped to a group of visitors: “It’s called a reading room, but in my day, it would have been called a passion pit because you can’t be seen by the librarian.”

Great, Art. We’ll just call it a $35 million Passion Pit.

In our day, making out under the bleachers was good enough.

Still more from the school beat: You’d think an 8 percent pay raise this year, on top of a fatter one last year, would be the highest form of flattery for a school district bossman.

A combined 22 percent pay increase over two years? That’s the kind of dough even a Boeing Machinist couldn’t refuse.

Tony Apostle, the Puyallup district super, is thankful for the extra bags of cash and accompanying slobbery love notes from his School Board.

But his hot streak doesn’t end there. He also developed a blockbuster line of fashion gear. So fresh that all the teens are wearing it – and not just in Meekerville.

Air Apostle.

Kind of like Air Jordan, only bigger. And he gave it a frou-frou French spelling (“aero” something) to make it seem even more hip.

So take that, Tacoma Super Art Jarvis. Call us when you open a store at the Tacoma Mall, like Dr. Tony did.

We sit here today shamefaced, or at least shame-nosed. In last week’s column, we were oblivious to some of the most meaningful lyrics in pop music history.

We said Beatles fans whose favorite song is “I am the Walrus” could be known as the “Coo-Coo-Ka-Choos.”

Reader Steve Bulzomi noticed the error: “Actually ‘Coo-Coo-Ka-Choo’ fans would favor ‘Mrs. Robinson’ by Simon and Garfunkel. … ‘I am the Walrus’ fans would be the ‘goo goo g’joob’s.”

Right you are, Steve. The small details matter. If you were here, we’d give you a big smooch of gratitude.

Or, as the Northwest’s own Jimi Hendrix once said, “’Scuse me while I kiss this guy.”

Got news for The Nose? Call 253-597-8742, Ext. NOSE (6673) or write TheNose@thenewstribune.com.