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Nordstrom? Great – if only we had money
THE NEWS TRIBUNE
Last updated: October 3rd, 2008 06:35 AM (PDT)
In better times, we’d be popping corks over Nordstrom’s fancy new store at the Tacoma Mall. The old one was looking a little worse for wear. Like Sears, but with a piano player.
Heaven knows it was no longer upscale enough for The Nose and the Missus. At least not the night we swung by after our wedding anniversary dinner at Orange Julius.
Now, however, we feel kinda bad for the poor Nordstrom family.
Timing is everything, and they’re taking the wraps off their new Tacoma digs at the same time the nation’s money system goes kaflooey.
On one hand, folks from DuPont to Duvall are burying coffee cans full of cash and picking out their hobo names. On the other hand, Nordy’s is holding a cosmetics tailgate party and touting its new “brow bar.”
Buddy, can you spare a pluck?
Suggestion for what to do with all those gold “I’d rather be shopping at Nordstrom” license plate frames.
Cut out the fourth word and part of the fifth: “I’d rather be a Nordstrom.”
Suggestion for what to do with the old Tacoma Mall Nordy’s space. One word: Hooverville.
Though when the new Depression hits, they’ll call it Bushville, McCaintown or Obamaland.
Speaking of the pols, they sure like to yak about shifting the economic rescue from Wall Street to Main Street.
How ’bout a little something for J Street and South Tacoma Way? Or send some bailout lovin’ to us newsies here at 19th and State.
And now we’d like to take a moment to solve some crimes. Usually we defer to Pierce County’s finest, but they’ve overlooked the most obvious suspects in two recent robberies:
• Lakewood police are looking for the person with the cinched-up hood hiding his face who robbed Heritage Bank on Sept. 22.
They’d be crazy not to bring in Kenny from “South Park” and the jawas from “Star Wars” for questioning.
• Meantime, Puyallup cops think they’ve caught the guy who demanded cash from 1st Security Bank of Washington on Monday.
We think the real culprit is still at large: a certain coach who needs money for his imminent retirement.
Chicken poop was the talk of the Sumner City Council this week. As in, “Let’s go get us some! And put it on city land, right next to the cemetery!”
Sumner Councilman Randy Hynek wants to add to the success of the city’s first-year community garden by building a chicken coop or two next season. The birds – no more than 100 strong – would lay eggs and make fertilizer.
He won the support of the council on a 5-1 vote Monday. Leroy Goff squawked about the cost of the project and the foulness of the fowl.
But fellow City Council member Cindi Hochstatter was impressed by Hynek’s impassioned defense.
“Randy knows how to sell chicken (droppings),” she said.
Which is no small compliment. Selling that to a politician is like selling snow to an Eskimo.
Goofiest news release of the week comes from the Department of Licensing, headlined: “State rules fish pedicures illegal in licensed salons.”
Who knew fish had feet?
The reality is only slightly less weird. A King County salon has been zapping customers’ dead skin cells by soaking their feet in a tank of toothless fish.
Well, golly. Good thing there’s a bureaucracy in place to stop that. Who do we have to thank, the Division of Exfoliation Enforcement?
Got news for The Nose? Call 253-597-8742, Ext. NOSE (6673) or write TheNose@thenewstribune.com.
Originally published: October 3rd, 2008 12:44 AM (PDT)
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