Five conditions Amazon executives might require of cities hoping to host a corporate headquarters outside Seattle.
1 Must cancel all government vendors and contracts, promise to purchase all goods in your city on Amazon Prime.
2 Must be willing to rename your city “Amazonia” and your county “Bezostopia.” Also, your municipal charter must be amended so that Alexa can be appointed mayor.
3 Every grocery store taken over by Whole Foods, every book replaced with a Kindle.
4 Must have another city tied to your apron strings roughly 30 miles away that we can exploit for affordable labor, cheap housing and excellent karaoke bars.
5 Must not be Chicago. That would be such a cliche. So boring. So Boeing.
And a bonus Sixth Spot, free of charge!:
6 Must have adequate landing strip capacity and no air-space restrictions for our Luftwaffe-size fleet of delivery drones.