Five reasons Washington Democrats should vote Republican in the May 24 presidential primary:
1. Limited time offer: Free box of Trump Steaks with every ballot cast for Donald Trump.
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2. Ben Carson is still on the ballot. We don’t recall much about him, but he seemed like a decent guy.
3. Hillary and Bernie don’t need your vote. Other than a 48-hour period when they barnstormed the state in late March, Washington voters are dead to them.
4. It’ll take you, like, 30 seconds to vote. That’s a roughly 1,400-times smaller commitment than was required to participate in the Democratic caucus.
5. For the same reason you might consider calling an escort service. It provides a devious thrill without any long-term commitment.