Five ways legendary Seattle goalkeeper Hope Solo might kill time during her suspension from U.S. women’s soccer national team:
1 Tell her agent to book her a spot on “Dancing with the Stars: Sweden Edition,” so she can show that nation of cowards who’s boss.
2 Contemplate her place as the most persecuted, misunderstood athlete in the 2016 Olympics not named Ryan Lochte.
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3 Contemplate her place as the most persecuted, misunderstood Olympic athlete in Pacific Northwest history not named Tonya Harding.
4 Continue her remarkable streak of clean sheets by getting a job as a housekeeper at Holiday Inn Express.
5 Follow the example of her swashbuckling distant relative, Han Solo: Appreciate that she had a good run, let the younger hotshots take over, and accept a script that bumps her off after years of close calls.