I could almost agree with presidential candidate Ted Cruz, who dared declare that New York City is overrun with oddballs.
It’s true, of course. That city is full of oddballs, and we all know it.
On the other hand, Cruz is a senator from Texas, and Texas oddballs shouldn’t throw stones at a state like New York with its opposing weirdness. As we almost all know, New York is a major puddle of eccentricity. So is Texas.
Some New Yorkers are having a hissy because a Texan considered them morally loose. Cruz is correct. New York is overrun with far-left liberals, thousands of toe dancers, irresponsible billionaires, panhandlers, godless infidels and massive numbers of diverse people believing their ethnicity is the best.
Cruz refers scornfully to what he calls “New York values.” Texas values are the flip side. He is a far right-lad himself, born in Canada (which may be his greatest achievement). He favors oil-stained lives, a belief in artificial blondes and fear that nobody is as religious as he is.
New Yorkers and Texans include some of the strangest people in America, and they have the gall to look down on others.
If you really want somebody who deserves to be considered sane and friendly, look at people in states like Maine, Colorado, Delaware, Rhode Island, Washington and South Dakota.
I would like to enlarge that list to my own state of Idaho, but in truth, Idaho spends too much time licking the boots of Texans.
My first visit ever to New York was fascinating. It was years ago, before New York had tidied up from its dangerous and dirty era. A friend who regularly does business in New York warned me about New York values that could get an Idaho rustic robbed and hurt.
That warning roused my paranoia. I grabbed a taxi and, within minutes, looked out the window and saw a man with a knife running down the street chasing another man.
I exited the taxi and entered the hotel. Suddenly, someone tapped me on the shoulder. There stood my taxi driver holding out a dollar bill.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “When I drove away, I realized I had overcharged you.”
I handed the dollar back to him, of course, but I was impressed with what appeared to be New York honesty.
I asked the night clerk to recommend a place to eat. He suggested I go out the front door and walk a block and a half to the south. Then he added, “Don’t go to the east or the west or the north.”
I had one chance out of four to guess the safe direction
I bought some cookies from the snack dispenser and hid out in my room. I wasn’t going anywhere until darkness was finished and the sun had returned.
Before the two weeks had run their course, I experienced a city with an amalgamation of some of the best of humanity and some of the worst, just like Texas.
I was encouraged one Friday night while watching cheery pedestrians as they displayed their gladness that the work week was over.
I was especially impressed with how many of the men took home bouquets of Friday night flowers for their ladies.
Unfortunately, some western Americans, just like some Texans, have not entirely gone that far. In fact, it is fairly common for me or my wife to go to the store and buy a bouquet of flowers for her, for me and for our house.
However, when I buy the flowers, the store clerk will say, “You must be in trouble with your wife.”
“No,” I say, “What do you think I am, a Texan?”
Contact Bill Hall at firstname.lastname@example.org or at 1012 Prospect Ave., Lewiston, ID 83501.