What community would dare challenge Sumner for the title, “Rhubarb Pie Capital of the World”?

In the entire United States, only 2,000 acres are under rhubarb of any variety – and the Sumner area boasts no less than 400 of those acres. Nor is Sumner rhubarb just any variety. It is the exclusive American source – the national strategic reserve – of piquant Crimson Red and unforgettable Johnson Red.

Sumner’s association with rhubarb is long and hallowed. It gave birth to the Sumner Rhubarb Association, which was succeeded, in 1937, by the Washington Rhubarb Growers Association. The co-op processes rhubarb and operates the state’s hotline for the rhubarb-starved: “Got Rhubarb? 1-800-435-9911.”

Sumner was known as the first city of rhubarb for decades running. Its worthies recently decided to dust off the world title and reclaim Sumner’s rightful place among the capitals of the world.

There are pretenders to this crown. Towns elsewhere grow rhubarb of questionable quality and call themselves rhubarb capitals. Leola, S.D., styles itself “Rhubarb Capital of the World.” Sterling Heights, Mich., appears to consider itself the “Rhubarb Capital of the United States.”

More modestly, Lanesboro calls itself the “Rhubarb Capital of Minnesota.” Last year, the Illinois General Assembly officially proclaimed the town of Aledo as the rhubarb capital of that state.

Which raises serious questions: How can conflicting claims to rhubarb supremacy be adjudicated? If the United States has a rhubarb capital, do Minnesota and Illinois still get to have their own? If the whole planet has a rhubarb capital, does that center of power pre-empt the U.S. rhubarb capital – or would that be too much like One World Government?

But note how adroitly Sumner has outflanked the competition. It doesn’t claim to be the rhubarb capital of the world but the rhubarb pie capital of the world.

We aren’t talking a mere crop here; we’re talking pastry.

A lengthy and comprehensive Google search turns up only 168 references to rhubarb pie capitals, and they unanimously bestow the honor on Sumner. Like Claxton, Ga., the “Fruitcake Capital of the World,” Sumner has no rivals.

Its claim to the title is unchallenged. And the stalks of ripe rhubarb are being cut as you read this. Gentlemen, slice your pies.