Well played, New Orleans, well played.
USC (-27.5) at Syracuse
How is it that Lane Kiffin suddenly found the football morals god last week and decided not to run it up on Hawaii? I’m not asking him to go Mike Gundy on his old buddy Norm Chow, I’m just asking him to make the cover a little more simple. IS IT THAT TOUGH?!?!? Some of us are trying to buy some Beats by Dre here Lane and your sudden unwillingness to hang 60 on an opponent is frustrating and unprecedented.
The pick … USC didn’t look so great against the ‘Cuse last season. But they look good this year. There is no conceivable way the Orange could win, not even if the rotting corpse of Donovan McNabb came in to play quarterback.
If I was a betting man … I would hesitate on USC cause that’s a lot of points.
Wisconsin (-5) at Oregon State
Have I told you lately how much I dislike Bret Bielema? I have? Well let me reiterate. I don’t like the guy. I don’t like guys that run up the scores on opponents (unless I’m betting on team). And Bielema would run up the score on his own mother if he could. He’s elevated Wisconsin into the pantheon of disliked teams along with Notre Dame, Nebraska, the Yankees and the Oklahoma City Thunder.
The pick … as much as I don’t like Bielema, I’m not dumb enough to pick against the Badgers. They are just too good. But I would certainly be happy to be wrong about this. And these are the types of games that OSU wins, just ask USC.
If I was a betting man … Oh, I would tease this game down. Bielema and the Badgers will win by at least 14.I just can’t see how OSU – which didn’t play a game last week – is sharp enough to pull off the stunner
Fresno State at Oregon (-34)
I don’t care how Marcus Mariota pronounces his name. Does it really matter? When he has a Heisman sign on a building in New York next season, it will just say Marcus. Speaking of Oregon QBs on the side of NYC buildings, let me give you example of Joey Harrington’s hard hitting analysis on the FOX studio show.
“Wow, both teams are really playing hard.”
Dynamite Joey! Dyn-o-mite!!! You’ve been putting that Tim McCarver analyst school education to work. On a side note, Chris Berman just signed an extension with ESPN for like five more years. Thankfully, he has yet to infiltrate college football. I don’t know if I could take Matt “Don’t call me Charles” Barkley or Barkevious Mingo “and Jerry” and Landry Fields “Forever” … yes, those last two were references to songs from the 60s. Dear god, I’m turning into Berman. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Back to the FOX studio show, or as it should be called … let’s all watch Erin Andrews … at least it doesn’t have a dancing robot … yet.
The pick … of course, Oregon is going to win. The only question is by how much and whether or not the uniform combo the Ducks wear will lead to cataracts or temporary blindness.
If I was a betting man … hmmm, that’s a lot of points. Chip Kelly and his huge visor weren’t quite running it up enough against Arkansas State. Will they suddenly resort to old form? Nope. It’s a new friendlier Chip, take the 34 points.
Nebraska (-5) at UCLA
Taylor Martinez threw five touchdowns last weekend against Southern Miss. That’s not a typo. Yes his throwing form looks like this guy ….
Still, if he’s completing passes, Nebraska is really, really good.
Also you should follow @FauxPelini on Twitter ... the avatar (below) alone is worth it.
The pick … Nebraska is going to win. They are going into a sold out Rose Bowl with at last 20,000 Husker fans and they will beat UCLA. The only thing that is uncertain is whether Jim Mora will say something offensive or idiotic postgame.
If I was a betting man … I’d take the Huskers and give the 5 points. Yes, Brett Hundley was really good last weekend. But that was against Rice. This is against Nebraska and all that running room will disappear. Tease that game with the Wiconsin game and you are making that paper.
Duke at Stanford (-14.5)
I hate Duke in college basketball. I don’t care about Duke in college football. That is all.
The pick … Stanford will look much better. Josh Nunes was playing his first game last weekend. He looked like it. But I still think Stanford will be a good team.
If I was a betting man … More than two touchdowns? Nah, take the Devils and hope the college football refs treat them like the college basketball refs treat Coach K’s team.
Illinois at Arizona State (-1.5)
I miss Vontaze Burfict. I miss his unmet potential. I miss his personal foul penalties. I miss the possibility of an onfield meltdown. ASU isn’t nearly as enjoyable to watch. Plus Todd Graham is also reducing the number of dumb penalties are committing in games. Don’t you know we want to be entertained Todd?!?
The pick … ASU … I have no idea why. I guess they are playing at home. It’s going to be warm in Tempe and I figure the Illini players will be distracted. Have you been to the ASU campus on a warm day? It might be one of the greatest places on a planet. If I knew back then what I know now, I would have went to Arizona State for college … I wouldn’t have a degree likely, but I would have memories and stories
If I was a betting man … It’s only 1.5 points. Give them. Maybe put the in with Wisconsin and Nebraska in a three-team tease and start making plans to purchase a yacht. Man, it’s hard to make a Tosh Lupoi boat joke here.
Oklahoma State (-13.5) at Arizona
When Mike Gundy and Mike Stoops squared off last year, they could have called it Disliked Coaches Bowl. Now Gundy will have wait till OSU plays Bob Stoops for that game to take place.
OSU hung 80 points on Savannah State last weekend? Why? Because Gundy could. And that’s all that matters. Remember, he’s a man …
The pick … OSU will win, but I expect Arizona to keep this game close. OSU isn’t as good as last year, and Rich Rodriguez is a coach that game plan and prepare and doesn’t look like this on sideline …
If I was a betting man … Take those points, take’em and run like the wind. Yes Gundy is Bielema-esque in his willingness to run up the score. But his team isn’t quite as good and Arizona is slightly better than Savannah State.