THE BIG BANG STRATEGY

Posted by Kathleen Merryman on the Tall Ships blog at 9:04 a.m. Sunday

Saturday afternoon I peered down the hatch and into the Lynx’s stateroom with its paneled bulkheads and plush curtained berths.

There, sitting on the floor amid squares of tin foil and piles of black powder, were Saul Lipton, 25, of Chicago, and Melissa Witmer, 30, from Lancaster, Pa.

They were making the ammunition for the evening’s battle sail, a mock sea battle, with Lady Washington, Amazing Grace and Hawaiian Chieftain. And they were just a notch too happy.

“We just figured out a way to pack them tighter in the gun, which makes them louder,” Saul said.

Louder is better, much, much better, on a battle sail. In the absence of deadly bits of metal, it’s volume, quantity, spirit and snappy maneuvering that determine the winner. So the two were manufacturing faux ammo as fast as possible.

“Here I am,” Witmer said, “a Mennonite from Lancaster, rolling shot on a tall ship.”

But did their big bang theory work?

That evening, we found the longest line in Victoria, B.C. We strolled down to the houseboats for dinner at Barb’s Fish and Chips take-out and waited an hour to place our order and another 30 minutes to pick it up. (Yes, it was worth it.)

That gave us plenty of time to listen to the exchange of black powder courtesies going on during the battle sail. It went like this: Pow. Wham. Bam. WHOMPA.

Score for Lipton and Witmer’s soundtrack.

As the ships sailed back into harbor, we stood at the end of the docks, waving and cheering for them.

“Fire on us!” we called to the Lynx’s crew.

“Can’t!” they hailed back. “We’re out of shot!”

Then they taught us a neat trick.

“Bang!” they yelled at us in unison.

“Bang!” we all yelled back.

Remember that, if you should find yourself on Ruston Way without a cannon during Thursday’s Parade of Sail.

You can bet Lipton and Witmer will have plenty of tightly packed shot at hand, and they’ll take aim at any provocateurs ashore.

SURVIVAL GUIDE TO TALL SHIPS NAVIGATION

Posted by Kathleen Merryman at 8:07 a.m.

Embedded in Victoria’s Tall Ships throngs, we’ve gotten a crash course in navigating the paths and docks and fairways of the festival.

You might think you know how to walk with 10,000 or so other people around you, but historic sailing vessels change the rules.

So here’s a new set:

1. Be vigilant for photo hazards. Apparently, everyone wants a clear shot of a loved one standing in front of a ship. To get it, the subject stands by the ship and the shooter backs up until the framing is just right. Your challenge is twofold: Avoid being backed into, and stop dead before you end up stored in someone’s digital camera.

2. React quickly to sudden random stops. The person in front of you may halt without warning to avoid a photo hazard. The overheated parent may suddenly realize that one of the over-stimulated kids has run off to be a pirate. The cluster of teens may sense an immediate need for shaved ice. Your job: Swerve, halt, or end up with your $6 ice cream cone on your shirt.

3. Maintain your infrastructure. Wear comfy shoes and clothes. Pack twice as much water as you think you’ll need, because once you’re inside the grounds, water doubles in price. Slather up with sunscreen. Pack moist wipes to deal with ice cream hazards.

4. Be alert to the rigging. Nothing stops a Tall Ships crowd faster than the sight of a nimble crew member waltzing out on a yardarm to adjust a halyard, or whatever it is they do 40 feet in the air without a net. Stop, too, and forgive the person who bumps into you.