My issue with Garlic Jim's isn't about pizza. It's about privacy. About a year ago when the Everett-based chain moved into the South Sound, I patronized the then-new Federal Way store.
I walked in and placed my order. I was going to carry it out. The girl at the counter wanted to know my telephone number. I asked her why she needed my telephone number when I was standing right there. I refused to give her my telephone number.
Not long ago, while researching pizza places for today's GOEATS column, I called Garlic Jim's from a telephone that doesn't belong to me.
The owner of that telephone had previously ordered from Garlic Jim's. Garlic Jim's telephone recognized the telephone I was using; the pizza worker read that number and the telephone owner's name back to me.
When I picked up my pizza, there was a sticker on the box that bore identifying information of the person whose telephone I used, including the person's house address.
All I wanted was a pizza, not a do-si-dough with some three-state chain playing out its National Security Agency marketing fetish.
As for Garlic Jim's pizza, it's decent, but it's chain-like, no better, no worse. "Thin" crust was bready. So was the buttermilk crust.
I liked some of the "gourmet" toppings, especially the eponymous stinking bulbs, roasted golden and amply adorning the pie for which I refused to give my telephone number. A couple of slices would have sufficed. I made the mistake of eating the whole pizza. I was Garlic Ed for two days.
I liked the Nutty Chipotle (with pepper pesto, sausage, pepperoni, onions, tomatoes and cashews). I liked The Hercules had American bacon, Canadian bacon, Italian sausage, salami, pepperoni and beef.
I didn't like Chicken Bacon Ranch. It tasted like it had a base of mayonnaise.
Carry out and delivery only. No dine-in.
"Mediums" ($14.24-$15.99) are 12-inchers. "Large" ($16.49-$18.99) are 14-inchers.
Garlic Jim's: 2065 Mildred St. W, 253-565-5467; 34024 Hoyt Road SW, Federal Way, 253-838-7744. Also in Bremerton, Renton garlicjims.com and elsewhere.
What's good pizza? Who makes good pie? What's good about it? Why? Comment below. Please be specific. I'll delete any comments that sound even vaguely cheerleaderish.