I found it.
The place to go at the fair.
Forget the fried food and funnel cakes. The rodeo and music artists are afterthoughts now. When you make it out to the fairgrounds look for a small, out of the way place with a black roof and no line. On the roof they advertise the "fresh strawberry mega shake."
Emphasis on mega.
But let me warn you, the price is steep. The mega shake costs $7. But for fair prices, it's worth it. After ordering (apparently the sign on the roof is the menu) I watch the kind woman behind the counter slowly ladle real strawberries from a bucket into a real blender and fill it with real soft serve. It got so thick that she repeatedly had to intervene with a spatula during the blending and make sure it was all mixed up.
It is absolutely massive. It is delicious. And somehow I drank the whole thing.
I need a nap.
Diner note: This is a live report from the Puyallup Fair. TNT Reporters Scott Fontaine and Brian Everstine eat their way around the fair today.