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Recovered glasses help columnist see plight of rabbits

One thing is certain. If it ever happens that you should lean forward to flush in the bathroom of your favorite restaurant, causing your glasses to drop into the toilet, the rest of your meal is not going to go well.

I know this because I dropped the very glasses that I am now wearing.

They slid down my nose, bounced off my ample front and landed in the water before I could catch them. You might think I should throw them away, but I had to see my way back to the table. The party was pretty much over, though. It was my daughter’s birthday celebration, too. But she’s a good sport. I’m sure she’ll start speaking to me again soon. My family averted their eyes when I climbed into the car carrying the offensive object in a plastic baggie.

There’s no question that you have to be really resourceful to deal with the challenges of modern life.

At Albertsons last Sunday, I met a young man filling his cart with huge bunches of fresh produce.

“I ran over a rabbit on the freeway last night,” he explained as he placed big bundles of greens in his shopping cart. He said his name was Phillip (the shopper, not the rabbit) and he felt just terrible about the accident: “I called the Humane Society and they said they have four rabbits in the shelter.” So Phillip was making care packages for the bunnies. “I have four big packages of rabbit food in the car. It’s the only way I can think of to make amends,“ he said.

Recent newscasts have reported that this is a bumper year for rabbits in our area. The bunny rabbits and jackrabbits that are currently our neighbors were imported many years ago for food and sport. As the years and mild weather passed with fewer predators than would occur naturally, bunnies have done what bunnies do. They can have as many as five litters a year. When I go out for my walk, a bunny or two often comes along. Occasionally we get a fawn, too. It’s sort of like walking through a Disney cartoon, only with more SUV’s and Amazon trucks.

Hoping to get the rabbit’s point of view, I called the Humane Society for Tacoma & Pierce County. Communications manager Victoria Gingrey told me that on the day we spoke, the shelter had 15 small animals. Six were rabbits. Victoria (we were immediately on a first-name basis) told me that each rabbit is given lots of opportunity to exercise. The bunnies have “hop time” with trained volunteers. In fact, in 2018, volunteers spent 1,480 hours dedicated to hop time. In addition, rabbit adopters get an invitation to a Rabbit Spa Day Workshop. Let’s go to the hop.

Victoria says that if you should come upon a rabbit on the road, and you don’t run over it, you shouldn’t take it home to shower it with personal love and affection. Instead, she cautions, you should contact your local animal welfare organization or shelter to receive guidance on how best to proceed. There’s a note on the Humane Society website that rabbits are not allowed on JBLM, but I see them there all the time. Maybe they need glasses.

If you should decide to adopt one of the Humane Society’s rabbits, Victoria reminds that pet rabbits need grooming, loving, and rabbit appropriate toys – which are astonishingly simple. And cheap. Rabbits will be happy, she says, with a brown paper bag or empty toilet paper roll filled with hay.

On my evening walks now, I occasionally see a young coyote watching. Just watching. The bunnies may have to adjust to change, too.

Phillip was in the checkout line behind me when I left Albertsons. His cart was loaded with greens. And a couple of cartons of beer. “My friends were with me in the car,” he explained. “They feel really bad, too.”

Well, yes I am wearing the glasses I dropped in the ladies’ room at the Cheesecake Factory last Sunday. But they’re fine now. I washed them seven times in soap and very hot water. When I got home I soaked them in disinfectant for 24 hours. I tried putting them in the microwave just to zap any remaining germs, but that didn’t work out too well. After all, there are studies to show that the lemon slices and ice in your drink and menus at your favorite restaurant are all dirtier than the restroom.

“That’s certainly more information than I needed,” my son deadpanned with a look of extreme disbelief.

I saw that.

Dorothy Wilhelm is a humorist, professional speaker and broadcaster. She can be reached at, P.O. Box 881, DuPont, WA 98327 and 800-548-9264.

August book events

Join Dorothy Wilhelm for book events for her latest book, “True Tales of Puget Sound.”

  • Aug. 19: Sumner Senior Center, 10:30 a.m.
  • Aug. 22: Patriot’s Landing, DuPont, 11 a.m.
  • Aug. 28: Tehaleh, Bonney Lake,1 p.m.